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 Jan 2020 Amanda Kay Burke
eileen
I want to open your body
find your emotions
don't let me speak
I want to close your mouth shut
you move so slow
I want to replace your bones

all of my memories with you
don't hug me to sleep anymore

I'm so unhappy
I wonder
did you ever make me happy

was I in love
or lonely
 Dec 2019 Amanda Kay Burke
Carla
I feel so homesick,
Tears tracing my face,
I sit on my own,
In this new place.

We’ve been here so long,
Longer than a year,
But I miss my home,
Homesickness. My fear.

I miss all the people,
That I left behind,
In the first couple months,
Everything was fine.

We spoke all the time,
But now, barely at all,
Only ‘Sorry wrong person’,
And ‘Accidental call.’

I’m sorry that I left,
But I’m sorry to me,
For being locked up,
And throwing out the key.

I put this on myself,
I left those for which I care,
We’re no longer friends,
Why isn’t this fair?

Why am I so sad?
Why must I cry?
Why am I forced,
To tell them, Goodbye.
I want to sleep;
I am not allowed.
I can't escape;
I am not allowed.

I feel like I am
Sinking in quicksand;
And the walls are too high
To see out of.

It's been so long
Now I don't even know
If I want to see out.
I am stuck;
And I don't know if
I want to get out anymore.
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