How was I supposed to know
That you were hurting me so
You were the only one I had
you knew that I had nobody else
yet you still ripped my heart out
after so many years I gave you everything I could
I gave you my time my money and even my heart and yet you just threw it away
I just realized now that you're gone and you did nothing for me
I was just way too **** desperate for companionship so I let you walk all over me
and I thought it was genuine I thought you really cared
I didn't realize that you were never there
when I needed you what was I supposed to do I felt all alone then you got mad when I was sad and said how your stuff mattered more than me
I put aside everything for you
I would cancel my plans if you called I would do anything at the drop of a hat just so I can make you stay I put all of my own things out of the way I put you above myself because I had nobody else
I did everything I could how was I supposed to know that you would throw me away like that
That one day you would just drop me like a rock in the ocean just drift away like I was nothing
one day we were hanging out and having fun then the next day you blocked me I don't know what I did or what happened
but you have no idea how much it hurt
You said you wouldn't be like everybody else
You said you would stay you said I was important to you you said I meant something to you
But I guess that all was a lie
you weren't even there when I almost died
It was then I realized I'm truly disposable and replaceable
That no matter what I'll do I'll never be good enough I'll never have the right stuff to stand by someone's side

Once they leave your life
they never quite leave your memory
like peter pan
never quite changing
or older
never quite coming home
lost in the neverland of memories
never to be seen again
just like a ghost

Migraines are killing me now
they killed me then
and all over again
There is nothing for me to gain
just pain
I'm goin insane
over and over again
that's all the same
it becomes so mundane
part of my daily routine is nothing else going on with me
you're just causing my chronic pain and migraines

You ******* idiot
you ******* coward
you ******* gambler
you aren't going anywhere
this path will only lead you to despair
As you burn yourself right to the ground
It's your own **** habits that keep you this far down
You better stop before you dig yourself deeper
You've already taken and lost everything
You abandoned me, yourself, and your peers
Chasing your own selfish desires
What did you expect to hear?
I told you the truth
If you kept this up everyone would disappear
I thought that's what your ******* feared
I sure as hell know I didn't deserve it
what made you think any of that was okay or acceptable
nothing would make the **** you did worth it
did you lose your self-respect and manners
your not the person I remembered you to be
Maybe if you just listened to me
We would have avoided this ******* misery

Won't you save me
Let this be the last goodbye
I'm tired of breaking down
Please just leave me
I don't need to hear how you feel
Or the stories you fabricate
Stop filling my life with so much hate
It's not what I need
please just leave
You never loved me
Only caused me agony

its been a rough patch this year
so much has happened
but I wasn't prepared for you to disappear
it was so hard to hear
so hard to see
that you wanted nothing to do with me
were you full of glee
now that you got rid of me
what am I supposed to do
I thought I meant something to you
all the years that passed by
meant everything to me
but nothing to you apparently
you left me with nothing
not even a text goodbye
you have no idea how hard I wanted to cry
did it mean nothing when you were by my side
when I almost died
I thought we talked it out
going through the ups and downs
you said I meant something
you said I was important
was that all a lie
just the thought makes me die inside
even now I wanna cry
but I know I'm going to make it out alive
just know you won't be there to see me thrive
ill go back to living my own life
all alone and by my own
it seems to be set in stone

*******, mom and dad
You don't mean **** to me
All you cause is misery
You messed up bad
you lost the one chance you had
You lost your only child
Cause of you I never got attached
There's no coming back
I used to always walk on eggshells
Now there will be no heartache
If you go down with a heart attack
You were a handful
Always throwing tantrums
Make sure you always won
*******, mom and dad
You don't mean **** to me
All you cause is misery
You messed up bad
you lost the one chance you had
You lost your only child
Cause of you I never got attached
There's no coming back
I used to always walk on eggshells
Now there will be no heartache
If you go down with a heart attack
You were a handful
Always throwing tantrums
Make sure you always won
Don't compare me to you
I'm better than you will ever be

You don't gotta tell me twice cuz I was hypnotized
I just know when I looked into your eyes
I see the light brought into my life
you still make me happy even though it was temporary cuz one thing I am certain you won't cause me misery
Even though it's temporary you can remember the happy times we had cuz I might not be the one for you but it was nice while it lasted and that's okay I accept my face so everyone can just move on with it

hold me tight
for just a moment
let me feel whole again
putting back the missing pieces
that has been broken
I feel so cold
to the point of shivering
could you have me
could you save me
from this misery
this loneliness
just keep me warm
till the morning end
and the down begins
hold me tight where is no light
won't be my sunlight
to keep me safe
from that darkness
that dwells inside
and strikes at night
I'm tired of fighting on my own
you make me feel
like I'm not alone
so please stay by my side
even if it's just
one more night

its been a rough patch this year
so much has happened
but I wasn't prepared
for you to disappear
it was so hard to hear
so hard to see
that you wanted nothing to do with me
were you full of glee
now that you got rid of me
what am I supposed to do
I thought I meant something to you
all the years that passed by
meant everything to me
but nothing to you
you left me with nothing
not even a text goodbye
you have no idea how hard I wanted to cry
did it mean nothing when you were by my side
when I almost died
I thought we talked it out
going through the ups and downs
you said I meant something
you said I was important
was that all a lie
just the thought makes me die inside
even now I wanna cry
but I know I'm going to make it out alive
just know you won't be there to see me thrive
ill go back to living my own life
all alone and by my own
it seems to be set in stone
all that I have known