There lies a wall around my heart,
Made of stone and all the hurtful words you have said.
But behind it sleeps a girl covered in scars,
Too afraid of getting new wounds to let you in again.

"Swim!" I tell him,
As I drag him down, even further
Into this ocean of addiction.

"Swim, come on you can do this!" he cheers on,
While he slowly pulls me under
And drowns me.

if our love was like the night sky
maybe it wouldn't feel so much like a bruise
perhaps we could still find the shooting stars
within the blacks and blues

Betwixt what is said
Yet not meant,
And what is meant
Yet not said;
There most love to oblivion is lost
Like as lonely leaves 'neath the **frost.

i had always dreamed
of creating the most
beautiful masterpiece
yet today i've figured
that could never be reached

because
i've tried to paint you
in a picture
but that would require
colors
not yet created

i've tried to write
a poem
about you
yet you're unwrittable

His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.