Of all the friends and family
I never thought that you would throw me downstream

I am your flesh and blood
I bet your just stuck in the mud

I wish I could save you some time and a great big headache
I hope you can make a clean break

In my wildest dreams
I never thought you'd be the one to bust out my seams

I feel sick, can't see, or think
Why can't you be in sync

Rejected by you hurts I hope you never have to feel this pain
It can make you go in insane

Always remember I'll be here
In this atmosphere

I'll always love you with all my heart and soul
Stand up be a man and take control

So tell me
Is it possible to give love
And have it returned equally?
Is it possible to give him your soul
And have it returned whole?
Love.
Maybe this emotion is nothing
But a fictional feeling
The key to misery.
A lie,
Birthed from misleading childhood story lines.
Because I believe
There's never gold at the end of the rainbow
And a heart that's broken can't be sowed
There's no happily ever after
No perfect ending finishing the last chapter
No white picket fence or perfect family to show
Love doesn't exist
Just people here to use u as their personal
Ventriloquist...

Betrayal.
3/16/17

You call me strong
But babe,
I'm far from it.

I cried all the time
And now I don't let anyone in.

I always ******* up
And now I wish I was smarter.

I have gone through a lot
And it made me a damsel.

I was hit
And now I'm scared of quick movements.

I was screamed at
And now I hate loud sounds.

I was shut down
And now I have no confidence.

I was sent away
And now I can't get comfortable.

I was suicidal
And now I'm damaged.

I was anorexic
And now I'll never be healthy.

I was lied to
And now I can't trust.

I was always the target
And now I'll never be strong enough.

Am I allowed to see
you smile one last time,
the ghost of you is still
so pretty in my mind.
Do you mind if I say it,
your love was war,
but it was my favourite
so I keep the bloodied bandages.
The care package changed hands
I am a letter in a book of pages
I now fight a different war
but much doesn't really change.
The rainbow behind your eyes faded
I remember every one of your eye colours
and how they persistently persuaded
me to hold live ammunition to my chest.
The artillery remnants
scattered across the soils
I stand in line at remembrance
holding sepia stained photographs.

**I am fighting a different war,
one that is worth fighting for.