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163 · Jul 24
The Journey
Agnes de Lods Jul 24
All seems different,
like a blurry landscape
with vanishing maps.
The distance from the past
keeps growing.
I slice through space and time,
on the chosen path,
along a trajectory of circumstances.
Against the denial of access,
against the gate closing,
just to hold together what was apart.
161 · Jan 31
Riddles’ key
Agnes de Lods Jan 31
Mirrors around me,
I reflect on them,
but I can’t see my face—
only a distant nature
and shapes of others.

What I felt became true,
my way home is buried.
I chose to vanish into air.
The invisibility shields me
from sharp shells.


Now I am safe,
avoiding the pull
of apparent lightness.
So, I close them
one by one—
patiently,
all unresolved riddles
in the eternal Sphinx gaze.
At the ocean's edge
of hypnotizing dances.
160 · Apr 22
MINAFO- OFANIM
Agnes de Lods Apr 22
Give it a name.
Give it some shape.
Call it aloud,
and it will come here.

It gets inside.

Into our mind, into our dreams
To carve a new portal of old memories.

We think we’ve sealed it, but time flies into our skin.
Fractals of the multiverse scratch the surface of doubts.
Cataplasm doesn’t soothe our pain.

We are shaped like clay figurines of soft matter,
and so, so deeply fragile!

Drifting joyfully into illusion,
we are children from the far Northland.
Without light and warmth,
on a journey to the forgotten home.

Having only each other…
Seeing, touching, hearing, dreaming…
Closing our freedom in minutes,
we don’t watch the deep sky.

Right there, the rings of Saturn
spinning in their own beat
as our lives get faster.

They reflect our vanity with a soft gaze
until we cross the portal.
The ****** Self, Emotion, and Subjective Time
Exploring Interoception through the Contributions of A.D. (Bud) Craig
Marc Wittmann, Irina Strigo, Alan Simmons


https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4944121/ofanim/
158 · Jan 21
The Birth of a New Man
Agnes de Lods Jan 21
To close emotions tightly?
A broken mosaic,
it’s hard to fix.
It's better not to risk another fall.

Tears are gone,
the eyes are empty,
like a vast desert,
with blue-black flashes of memory,
hitting him out of control.

Life appears and disappears
in the cells of the body.
Emotions?
He can't feel it anymore.
There’s too much pain.

When the last wound heals,
he will pass through life
as a New Automatic Person.
Anesthetized to all sensations,
Although deep down,
he would like to feel
something again.
158 · Mar 1
Return
Why does this color feel so familiar to me?
Dreams—visions
bringing serenity into reality,
are present and yet still comforting…

It’s funny how casual symbols
and ephemeral frames together
create a surprisingly good script.

Once my dreams were nightmares,
goodbyes, delayed journeys.
But that night was different.
I wanted to fly in the light.
My spirit levitated
as gently as a bright spring day
in the silver-white flickering shine.

I saw my transparent corporeal tissues
my hands, my feet, my pulsing veins
a glowing surrealistic sketch.
For the first time, I felt deep and sincere,
fondness for my body.

How often have I punished myself harshly
for its perfect imperfection?
As I lay on the floor, wanting to numb the pain.
There is no poetry or beauty in physical,
ugly, unbearable suffering.

That night, I saw the deep blue-indigo sky
flowing through me as a quiet living brook
that I used to meet while walking on summer days
in the green, life-scented forest.

I saw my still-living body
so vulnerable, forsaken by my awareness.
When I woke up, I understood that
loving myself isn’t overwhelming egoism.
How strange that even a silly dream
could give me strength and bring me
to a safe home—to my own body.
156 · Feb 24
Ulisses
Agnes de Lods Feb 24
In troubled times, eruptions split the sky.
When the two cosmic lines converge,
the technological order unveils itself.

The cycle repeats in another scene,
endlessly turning.
Don’t lend it your memories, Ulisses.

The door of the Panopticon is crossed.
The glass, soundless, shatters.
Tomorrow dissolves into a quantum chance,
screaming conflicting images.

Don’t be lost in lonely silence.
Let go of melancholy.
Come back home, to the real people,
where hope lingers despite the inky fog.
There, you will feel better.
147 · Mar 18
Shards
Agnes de Lods Mar 18
Scratches on broken glass,
echoes drifting apart.
Neither distance nor time
can erase them.

What came before me
still touches me so deeply.
Memory, language, and land
flow through my veins.

The blissful days were fractured
by wounds never healed.
Stories whispered,
never reaching the community.

The victors write
the official version,
but minds and hearts hold their truths.
143 · Mar 24
Egregores
Agnes de Lods Mar 24
I entered the room crowded
with tangled thoughts.
Something that shouldn’t exist
takes physical shape.

Emotions strain my heart,
stretching my tissue,
piercing with a dull tool.

I scream soundlessly
like in cosmic space
where all sounds are dead.
Smiling outside,
not to make people feel ill at ease.

Yes, I see gray, lead clouds
above human heads.
Angry Egregores stand  
and breathe joyfully.

I would run but my fear
holds me, whispering:
don’t move or you might wake up
The Writhing Dragon.

I’m still learning how to be invisible,
to one day melt in the limpid air.
142 · Jan 24
Liminal person
Agnes de Lods Jan 24
Every night,
I open a new door to a secret tale,
a flashback from the threshold.
I wish I had put everything on the right side,
but I can’t find the words to express this state of being.

Happiness is like an ephemeral sound,
trying to escape from tight shells,
squeezing thoughts into a small black hole.

I don’t see a linear existence.
I’m always between whispering dreams,
listening for a long time, a mermaid chant
patiently waiting for a joyful symbol,
a reward for the time absorbed.

Now I am tired, I need to sit down
on a stone of my decisions.
I hope to stay a while in my inert numbness,  
but I really want to be reborn into another story.

I wish to feel true reciprocity one day
without useless words or expectations
and after quietly complete
my last human transformation.
113 · 6d
The Final Station
This sound,
like a friendly wind,
walking through
my lost memories
from irreversibility,
from the cold reality
of indifference
returning to fulfilling promises
as an answer to my invocation

A unique, sweet sound
is calling me now,
after twenty-five years.
I bought that ticket,
sitting in my narrow seat,
holding in my hand
a piece of uncertainty
that deforms
every time I get on board.

I used to take so many trains:
traces, luggage, running passengers,
waiting, wasting minutes.
They brought me,
step by step,
station by station,
to this voice,
to this tone of being,
in tune with silver threads.

The windows are yet closed.
I carry in my cells
the code of Alef,
a crystalline illusion.

The lens caves in
and swells outward,
seeing the elusive past
still living in me,
playing under a different sun,
through elusive existences.

We came as twenty-one souls.
Twenty I found.
One was lost—
the one closest
to my breathing truth.

The final deal:
Am I losing
or will I rest
in deeper words?

Yes.
I did it for you,
changing alternative worlds,
pulsing around me,
invitations not accepted.

I open the gate
to a new home:
to warmth,
to creativity,
made by sweet recognition
of blooming Fall to come
waiting patiently
for your move
for your not-yet-published story.
108 · Dec 2024
Ofanim
Agnes de Lods Dec 2024
The circles of time overlap.
You see with myriad eyes.
Rings in different directions are spinning
At variable speed,
Following the invisible spirit.
You already know about everything,
But dogma’s tightness limits
Make you indifferent to
An individual fate lost in time and dimension.
A single person in the turn of the wheel
Of celestial spheres is like
An ant colony crushed by a hurtling machine.
Goal achieved:
Created on the ruins of destruction.
The fear of passing glimpses
Is just an echo of scattered glints
Orion’s Nebula.
I ask and I’m afraid of answers.
I chose the unskilled objection
Rather than conviction about inerrancy.
To be floating in your oblivion
Like a discordant sound
in a harmonic chant
of everything is my privilege,
My existential plan.

— The End —