With you I am bitter cold and bleak
Without you I am creative and mistiquely unique.
Without you my brain operates on a level of an Intellectual Geek.
But when you  are around Im feel like climbing a mountain thats too far way and too steep
That I give Up climbing because of the pain in My knees, my legs and my feet,
My soul cant breathe and heart and mind become feeble and weak.
Without you I am Strong enough to conquer any mountains peak.
But with you i feel Rather incomplete.
But without you im Woman of Proverbs, A portrait resembling one who is humble and meek.
But with you The cat has my tongue so I cant express What Im feeling through the words I speak
Is it my demise what you seek?
Without you I feel put together and kinda neat.
With you its hard too feed my spirit what it needs to eat.
But without you It like Just another sad love song on repeat.
With you I feel im at war and your personal gain is my defeat.
Without you its hard sometimes, kinda of bittersweet.
But with you all I feel alone and in behind my smile I weap.
Without you my transcendent self can't seem to find sleep.
I guess the capicity of my love maybe just a little to deep.
Maybe You should learn how to swim because you sow what you reap.

I use to be all about you.
Like everything I say and do needed your approval or had to have value.
Until the day I found out you didnt love me the same I once loved you.
Then my heart became like a freeze color of blue.
I felt like i would be lost without you, I cried Whats a girl to do?
I felt stuck like an animal trapped in the zoo.
Until I changed My perception and started seeing things in a new view.
I had to tell myself you know I matter, Im Important too.
That was just kinda a clue
That its time to move on boo boo!
Its hard to be with you but I think its better to be without you

By: Jack Wilder (Ramon Carlos T. Castillo)

Tell him I said "hi",
I think it was a lie,
When I told myself,
I wouldn't fall for him.

Tell him I asked "why?",
We couldn't see what we could've become,
How it would've been all perfect,
But I forgot these were all just what ifs and would haves.

Tell him I wanted to go back,
Visit the past when were still just good friends,
I could've settled for just that,
But selfishness occured.

Tell him I asked "is it wrong?",
For me to fall in love with him?
That it was considered sin,
For me to look after someone with no conditions given?

Tell him this is goodbye,
I think it's best we part ways,
I'm done with being jealous and not being able to do anything,
That it breaks my heart to see him with someone.

But one last thing,
Ask him if I could just love him from afar,
Because seeing his smiles,
Heals the wounds he gave my heart.

but we’re boring.
there’s nothing interesting happening outside of what this flesh hides.
nothing!
words that come outside are plain
truths closer to lies
movements static
and our beliefs,
nothing more that dreams that change as soon as we fall asleep.

world flat
decisions corrupt
feelings fleeting
and nights– nights.

what comes comes and what leaves leaves
as we witness the world get molded by people who wear suits.
eyes open wide, we stare from old wide-open windows
and give reason to everything– even where it lacks.

we’re boring.

humans are beings of love, but love we cannot.
we just pretend,
striving for what others have but we can’t have that.
we can just get drunk, drugged,
on ideas of beauty, love, on ideas of what ideas lack
and then fall asleep.
happy at times and sad at times and broken at times and confused at times and craving too much and wanting to much and feeling too much– only to find out that we are just as others are.

we were born for this, just like everyone, but changed along the way;
outside of things where things happen, outside of places where people meet, outside of the stares that look at you as though you can give them something,
we found our truth; lame as it may be.
everything will happen as it should, everything must happen as it should, everything should happen as it should…

we see others cry for things, and we cry too. different reasons, same tears.
tearing through what we know, searching something we don’t seek….
we were made into here, we became what we feel.

boring, the definition itself,
boring, as boring as someone might get.
why would anyone stay?
when we, ourselves, would have definitely left.

delilah was my only love,
my only escape from this world,
a drive with her was all I needed to take the edge off,
no cigarette or drug could really do the trick,
nothing really worked to clear my head,
but delilah could.

delilah was my best friend,
never lied to me,
never went behind my back,
delilah was like an angel,
used to always help me get home and back,

delilah died.
and I killed her.
someone drove us off the road,
a third of a mile from my house.
and we hit rock bottom,
before we hit the tree.

delilah died,
going under twenty.
fifteen years old,
my first real love,
my first investment to better myself,
ripped from me.

Delilah the victim of accident,
left the world,
with two flat tires,
and a bent licence plate.
we took delilah outback,
and put her out of her misery.

r.i.p. 2001-05/12/2016

car ride,*
to,
your house,
to,
your yard,
up,
the stairs,
to
your front door,
to,
enter,
to,
step inside,
to,
look around,
to,
be leaded,
up,
stairs,
to,
stop,
to,
open the door,
to,
enter,
to,
wait for you,
to,
sit with my friend,
in,
your room.
to,
watch you enter,
to,
ask you about your day,
to,
be your friend.
but,
you, lay, down,
to,
pull, me close,
to,
not, let go,
to,
get, on, top,
to,
go, down, my pants,
to,
take, off, my top,
to,
not, hear me, when I screamed,
**STOP.

If I could only
move-
among the crowds
unnoticed;
Among the sounds
unheard;
Among the hate
unturned
and among the fire,
unburnt!

If I could only-
breath,
with no lungs in my chest;
If I could-
see the light
with no sight left;
If I could-
speak with my chords cut,
and when there’s no more
smiles around
if I could smile,
to show who am I!

When asked to kneel
if I could stand straight;
When asked to march
If I could break my legs;
When asked to speak
if I could forget the thoughts
they put in my head,
then I guess,
I would become a man!

A man,
that lives by itself,
that speaks for himself,
that cries and dies
only for himself!
Only for him, and no one else!
And that, my friends,
would be an easy life–
I think; I guess!