She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

They say pain
makes poetry
so I wondered why
I hadn't been writing
then I remembered
pain is not what I'm feeling
it's what I'm yearning
in all this feeling
of numb

Today I gave my heart
And soul away.

He’s the Devil
In an angelic
Disguise.

I sold him my
Soul for
Love.

Never have I
Felt love
Until his sweat
Dripped down
My innocent lips.
Till his eyes captivated
My whole
Essence.

I sold it all to
The Devil.
I regret
Nothing.

absent from my life,
but dancing forever in my mind.

preserved perfectly-
idealized and beautified,
immortal, god-like.

forever present,
eternally absent.

hatefully loving,
blissfully painful.

confusing and cloudy
I’m lost inside
my own mind

wanting to let go,
but holding on too tight

I can name what it’s not:
Not the likes
Not the fame
Not the power
Not the money
Not the knowledge
Not the pleasure
Not anything else
I can name what it is:
Your smile
Your voice
Your laugh
Your jokes
Your warm touch
The feeling of home
The safety and comfort to be
That is what happiness is to me.

no one really wants to die.

no one wants to go through with the act of bringing the razor to their wrist or swallowing the pills or pushing themselves off-

what they want
is to escape.