We do not live
We wish to be a not
We'd rather refuse to give
Than increase the lot we've got

I haven't showered for seventy two hours, it's been three days since you put me in my place again
And I don't want to believe that just like Jesus Christ, today's the day that I'm supposed to rise again.

No longer will we let ourselves be burried beneath the lives we've built
No more will we sit burdened by the weight of fear or guilt
Never again will we be halted from progressing past the sinking silt
We will expose ourselves and let them all see our skin of gilt
We will spread our light upon the world from atop our towering stilts
We will take the world we know and we will make it rebuilt

Your thoughts are like refugees, longing to find freedom and relief, from the mind they wish to flee
And they are also like martyrs, willing to fling themselves at death, wanting to prove they have meaning

Honest words are hard to come by, and I don't mean to say I've been telling lies, but anything that I have said has always been a less true version of the sentences swimming in the deepest depths of my head.

What's a lonely boy to do
When he cant find anyone to
Paint gold over all his blues

And whats a broken soul to say
When he can never find a way
To express his deepest darkest pains

Suicide sure sounds nice
So nice ill think about it twice
Im afraid to pay the price
But someday soon i just might

A life of ease
Where love is free
And pain is nothing but a bad dream
I dont think it can be
But all i can do is believe

Pleasure in a world without pain will drive a man insane, just as darkness in a place with no light will still seem kind of bright

Fake it till you make it
Make it then you break yours
Fake it til you retake it
Take it all the way to a corpse

Your heart has a body built to hold it, and that body comes with a mind made to control it, and all the parts of that work of art seamlessly seem to be telling me, there's a secret meaning in the way your skin's been speaking to me.

I've spent too long in these woods and now I'm afraid I'll never escape. These trees have now been watching me for several years, as I've shrunk from a man, full of promises and potential, just seeking inspiration, into a wanton waste of nothingness, just wandering wrecklesly, while these mighty wooden watchers just continue to grow, bloom, and blossom around me, and I simply cannot keep up with them.

Love is dead, love is dead!
You can hear all about it on the streets
We give,  we give!
Yet we are never given what we need
God is dead, god is dead!
There's no more need to believe
We live, we live!
But we don't know what that means

Drugs are fun
At least that's what they tell me
As I sit here with blood in my nose nose while choking on combusted crystal fumes, I think to myself, "what the **** are you doing, what's wrong with you?" Then I smile, laugh and reply to myself, "I'm too ******* high to give a **** about you"

Inside my chest rests a hole
Black and bottomless, it goes straight to my center
Above it hangs a sign that reads: danger, do not enter
If you shine a light and try to see the floor, you'll find yourself staring into a vacant core
Absorbing all white
Spitting out just dark

I should publish a book, just so people can buy it and never read a single word
They can put it on their living room tables, and point it out when company comes over
"I read poetry, go open that book if you don't believe me" they'll say, and amazingly, when the book is opened, someone will know that their host is lying
Because if a person reads poetry, they would never buy my book

I've got you in my sights, way high flying through wide open skies
You and I are all alone up here, dancing around dangerously in the stratosphere
Dare I pull this trigger and take you down?
If I do I promise, I'll beat you to the ground

You have to be strong, because even the darkest terror that you've ever seen is but to her just another harmless dream stacked against the nightmare that her whole life has been.

This is the place where we fall apart, standing over the cliff with hearts in hand, making the leap to the promised land. This is the place where we swallow the dark, never to play broken parts ever again, I'm sorry I brought you here my friend

I can live with being tired all the time, the reason why I can't get a good night's sleep is what's killing me

I've often been given the old aged advice:
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket"*
-but I don't really see a way to apply that logic when I only have one carrying case, and the fact that it's full of holes only makes things easier to misplace. Besides, I only have one egg to hold onto, so often I find my hands are my best tool to use, but too hard I squeeze such easily broken hopes, so all I ever get are shell shards and yellow yolks

Climb a tower,
Reach the top,
Be faced with three choices;
Remain at the peak alone,
Go back down the way you came,
Or accept adventure: jump and see where you can land

You used to cower at the smallest scent of trouble at your doors other side, and you'd run for the harbor to escape the land whenever storms headed ashore were soon to arive, not caring about what you'd leave behind or the people who wouldn't get a goodbye, suffering self-inflicted ruthless alienation every time fear found its way into the center of your mind, you'd kick and scream and swear you would die, just to put an end the terrors that only your eyes could find

You are doing better

I cannot hate you as much as I hate myself for loving you

I can't see the future, or any future to be precise
I can only see lies and a bed buried in ice
Where I lay my head
I won't think again

I never really wanted to
But I'll say goodnight
My hole is too holy to infect with your logic or your truth

I believe only in nothing, and that peace is a void
I don't believe that we are one of God's toys
When we all die
There's no paradise

We go absolutely no where
Just rot in the soil
And never dream again of something more out there

I need to tire myself out before I get home lest I be too awake to sleep on my own

Lately I've been learning some very important truths.
I've learned that you don't always need proof,
Just believe in what makes sense to you.
Everybody's entitled to their own point of view,
But make sure you stand by the truth you choose

I think i lost my talent for explaining what im holding
*** i cant find the words though theyre right in front of me
Im blinded by the feelings that i let get ahold of me
And i dont know what to do when it comes to me and you

Ive been on my own and working on my health
Peace of mind is what im seeking but i still need help
*** im feel like im still in the same place as where i fell
And im wondering if its any different from my old hell

Everything feels like, i dont know
Everyone one i see still wants to go
Away from me and i dont blame them none
I can see now i havent even passed step one

There's this man
He lives in the confines of my heart
And he's been trying for years to find a way to make it stop
He just wants to sleep, but the beat never drops
And the beatings never stop, because I won't let him go to bed
I'd rather keep him up and make him fight with the child inside my head

I can't walk alone with you if you're gonna wear your clothes beautifully like that, and if you don't mess up your hair real quick I think I'm gonna snap. I can't look at you if you're gonna strut with all you got, and don't you flash your eyes at me or I'll have to gouge them out

I cant see what my bodys doing
I think im really close to pooping
Ive never quite felt this way before
Except for when ive got a ***** begging from the floor

I only want you to have a reason to smile, just a little reason to laugh for a while, a reason to joke in the face of denial, and a reason to believe that your fate isn't final

I said it once, and I'll say it again
Don't come back to me if you need a friend
I screamed it before, and I'll shout it once more
Once you are gone I'm locking the door

It will snake
Its way back
Into my head
Before i know
I'll be dead
Replaced by it
I will not change
I will degrade
All the way
Into my grave
Where my bones
Will feed the same
Bugs and dirt
From which I came

Sometimes this love develops a bitter taste, and it becomes a pretty tough pill to swallow, but I'm here looking to overdose and reach a higher place, so I'll open my mouth and choke down the whole ******* bottle

We all need someone we can speak truthfully to, an open ear to hear whatever it is that we're going through. And yet the sad thing is, I don't think anyone could deal with the words that I so often sift through.

I was told when I was young there's a little devil in everyone
You can't spit him out
You can't dry him up
Anything that you can try will only make him blink his eyes, And you'll **** yourself before he goes blind

Such a sudden specter
A spirit I've felt before
Like raindrops on the glass, I can only watch as you pass through
And if I could catch a single drip for every time I've thought of you, I'd have enough to fill the entire ocean blue

Filled with fantastic fantasies
Memories I'll never make
Like airplanes in the atmosphere, I can only watch as you fly by
And if I could take flight every time that you cross my mind, I could soar forever and leave this world behind

Our lives were crossed at a beautiful intersection
And even now as we prepare to part
I still hold a piece of you in my heart
I'll never forget the lesson I've learned
The sun only dissapears because the world has turned
But soon enough it will rise again
And when it does we'll still be friends
I'll always be there if you come knock on my door
Thank you for showing me what life is for

Last night I longed to hear your voice
I begged god to let me see you whole
I swore I'd give up my life for just one night
I would do anything for just a moment with your soul

The world I know does not exist, when you are by my side
It's replaced by a place of wonder, where smiles don't need to hide
A land of entrancing dancing, with the shaking of our souls
When we grab hold of each other, everything surrounding us lets go

*I just want to flow
In the place that I know
The sun always shows

I just need to breathe
In the place that can be
Only you next to me

I hate who I am and can't stand what I've been, but not a single one of us can live without sin

I sit here with the ghost of you
Talking about nothing, just enjoying the view
The look of sadness claims your face
I open my mouth, but its too late
I close my eyes and accept my fate
I cannot speak, you fade away
If only I could go with you
I'm sorry for the things I said I'd never do
If only I knew
If only I knew
Way back when, you were my friend
Forever was never meant to be
Still I wait for you to lie with me
In this bed so cold, I'm tired and alone
But the ghost of you still lingers along
Cursed by the love that I led wrong
Forever was never meant to be
If only I knew what my words could do
If only I knew what I had done to you

I've been caught flat footed before but I always got away
When I opened my mouth I always had the right words to say
But now I've been found with my feet shoved down my throat
I have nothing to speak and I have no way to let go
of the skin I've been nibbling on so thoroughly
This flesh may rot inside but it does not sicken me
I have long since learned to suffer the taste of what you see

I feel it growing
Between us it's starting to
We need to go now

"This time is for real, there will be none greater than this!"* - a record stuck on repeat

Like substance I abuse you.
I crave you.
There's nothing I won't do,
For a taste
Of my next big mistake
With your face

She is the earth, the moon, the planets, and the stars
And when I sit alone with her side by side in my car
I can feel for once that heaven isn't very far

There's a sound that been beating me deaf between my ears
It's a melody made by mixing madness, anxiety, and fear
It's a song that you're lucky you'll never have to hear
But if you know the tune then sing it loud and clear
And I'll welcome you into the madhouse that is this mind of mine

Oh cast away eyes, how much of me can you see today
Oh volcanic heart, how quickly will you burn me away
Oh contemptuous course, how far will you allow me to stray
Oh shallow songs, how many more must you make me play

I mess up on purpose because I don't know natural movement.

I can't trust anybody with anything I feel, if I do I might be wrong.

So I'd rather be fake and aware of my isolating intensity.

I'd destroy my world if you'd just go down on me.