I am a pendulum.
swinging endlessly,
knocking out love and aloneness and the bit in between.  
love me, forget me, leave me be.
You are time
waiting, watching me swing
Wishing I'd stop,
On the bit in between.

like a half baked loaf of bread,
love still rising in the oven,
the warmth helps you grow.
You, a typical loaf oblivious to the hugging heat.
Doughy and innocent I wait.
Heat forming and falling.
I feel like butter melting by the stove
patiently awaiting a slice of you.

Oh, temptress! bottled thoughts
let me pour one more glass,
Of your dark red poetry.
No, let me sink in it.
Who made this bottle so magical?
The poet's alchemist!
Corked and drinkable wisdom.
let the poems flow and put me to sleep again.

Stupid red bottle,
you're not red you're green!
You don't judge how I feel,
and that's worse than living,
feeling, breathing, nothing!
just drinking because I'm not an artist, a scientist or a lover,
I'm absolutely nothing.
I'm just a red-green bottle that tastes like vinegar!

We used to play with barbie and action man.
Fake weddings, wars, hand in hand.
Even then I would dream of my Ken.
With a perfect dollhouse, lifes play pen.
You were my male role model, someone to protect me.
I did whatever you said because you meant a lot to me.
I still played with dolls when you grew out of action man.
you made me play new games, you! a real man.
I hate you with all my inner child.
I hate you even though I try to forgive you,
I cant.
I hate you for putting the action in man.

Why is the sound of two people kissing so repulsive?
That clicking icky yuckyness makes me feel sick.
Jealousy exists in dreams like an ever present message.
The bell tolling the marriage that will never exist.
Fireworks like wishes wishing that clicking was us.

Making faces in the mirror
Hoping something beautiful will surprise me
My face is still chubby
Like an adult baby
I don't look like a movie star or model
Just a square faced messy unfortunate
Is that a grey hair
You've got to be joking
Hardly in my twenties
Looking like a witch already
What if I put my hair this way or that
Or turned my face
Or ****** my cheeks in all the way?
This isn't vanity its pure insanity
My mirror must be broken