walking those shorelines
and rocky borders
between the heart & mind

on a mend
in an effort to learn
the signature of each lung

with the hope
that this breathlessness
parallels the transience of life

don't forget to look up from the sand,
from the little voice
between the two sounds of a working heart

the ocean raises a salute
for those moments
that never leave us

To fault Tomorrow
Would be wrong
She just sat down
And all she said was
“I'm not sure”
And here we are
Offended
Because Yesterday was certain
But only today did she say anything
About it
And Today, she's been talking for a while.
(We are tired of it)
But Tomorrow thinks she can waltz in here
And sit down
Be mysterious and all
I won’t have it
But then to fault Tomorrow
Would be wrong
When its me
At fault
For thinking too long
Too wide
Too soon
Too late
For thinking and thinking
Until it all collates
And we are in a muddle
A mess
Of a puddle
Bursting in tears
Laughter
And fears
And all my Wondering
She’s blameworthy
I'm the neurotic one
I can't sit still
Until Tomorrow
Doesn’t come back
Dressed as Today
When she will talk
And talk
And talk
And I will wish once again
For yesterday
When she was
All quiet
And obnoxious
And mysterious
All unknown
And we will be back in new roles
New bodies
New tales
All over and over and over and over

I was nervous for things that had yet to come
Constantly thinking about them
Shaping my thoughts and my prayers around them
The future had me caged in a timeless loop
Of overthinking and anxiety
Like a dark tunnel leading to the unknown
I had turned off the lights to my today  
And expected that I would see my  tomorrow somewhere in the blackness of yesterday

Somewhere along a shallow coastline, stood my sandy feet listening to wind chimes

I’d stare the ruthless wind right in the face
As it takes the shape of water and drifts away

Over the distance of a sea of blue, waves would howl at the moon for you

The sun still sets with a thousand colours, an artists sky made of wonders

The rain still falls with the beat of a drum, and every drop is my heart calling for one

The grasses sway with the dancing wind, to music written on the cracks of your skin

Summer comes wandering in, in the shape of a nomad searching for bliss

I watch the changes of your time, singing songs and embracing the climb

To be a woman, in today’s world,
that stretches into the writing of a tomorrow’s world,
a world that feels so absolute in its reckoning
feels like a mountain that cannot be climbed.
I pray that you find some sliver of beauty
in the moonlight that chases you,
and the stars that kiss your forehead
when you sleep with your big dreams.
I pray you don’t let those dreams flow off your palms
into a river stream when this world threatens you with its cold air
You hold onto them tightly
because even with their singular light
the shadow you leave behind,
so big and strong – a fearless fighter
you stretch into the writing of your world
and your light brings me to write of you
in awe.

Silence tumbles out of me
this moon, and this sun
this morning and this night
this want for rain
this flicker of hope
the embers, and the sheets of ice
it all in an overwhelming exhaustion
have come to take my breath away
and every time I speak
my words are caught in the wind
circling from everywhere to nowhere
leaving me somewhere in between

With a voice that fails me
I aim at the lines between your hope and my despair
With a needle, in an effort to achieve precision
To stitch our thoughts together
They’re so similar, so different
You think of October as a warm home
And I see it as a cold houseguest
And we co-exist in this oblivion
This circle of this or that
I admire your willingness to fill spaces
And you question my fear of being heard
You relish in the colours of fall
And I dread the looming winter
How is it that we left September
Hand-in-hand, wishing for rain...

To heal
To lose
In circles
We float
Losing
Healing
Breathing
Hoping
Fearing

What are we fearing?

You with solemn eyes look to the sun
Lost in its embrace
Wishing to be the clouds
That touch its light and dissipate

"I am afraid that everything I have lost
Will come back and find me
After I have learned to live without it"

And with that, I begin to disappear

wide open
taking steps toward new seas
twirling this breeze between my fingers
horizons of possibility
what to wish for?
but to float
when all else sinks

Between you and this dying world
Are boats carried by tidal waves
Built from pieces of love you left behind
You keep moving toward the horizon
As their anchors fall into deep ocean
Strings of forgotten fears hold you back
And prayers, from when you were lost,
Take your hand, tell you stories, and bring you back to where the sun said its final goodbyes
And you, covered in terracotta and blue
Begin to sink in the sapphire gloom
As whatever remains from your dreams
Keeps you afloat and clouds disappear
The stars bloom from midnight grey
Illuminating the way home
All for you

To sit here and scale our memories
looking for worth in wondering
searching for pieces in the past
I left all my paints and colorful hues
and moved forward with potfuls of rain thinking that to love is constant
and to lose is momentary pain
but all these versions of lives lived
all the people we said we were
and all the things we hope to become
stir and boil in this water
and winter tells us to stay inside
but this heart keeps racing
aching to feel the sun and the snow
to tear apart the days
and take these fractures
as testimonies of all that we braved

To my father, who loves telling stories

Pomegranate seeds,
splatter over the countertops
your laughter heightens their fragrance
a dish rag in my hands
a halfway story exaggerating between your lips
mouthfuls and mouthfuls of past
something so simple about this morning
a togetherness of complex mirage
sun pierces through this sinking heart
and a strong desire to ease the pain
that has sunken into the cracks
overcomes me
I wonder what love is,
If it exists beyond this moment as anything true
and you, still lost in your narrations
tell me all about living
and this wondering finds ease
just as I, in your presence

I speak of you
To the aerial views of city lights
Talking about your extravagance
To the lions mane
Hidden in a mountain range
Stories from when I was a child
I try to keep you on my tongue
But forgive me when I become entranced
Lost in the aurora lights
Holding promises in my hands

So I spoke to them,
The seven wonders and the seven seas
About your colours and memories
Some I still hold onto till this day
But forgive me if I forget our old ways
Just know, my heart still beats to the same rhythm
The one it danced to when I was yours
And I speak of you between every laugh
Because I remember what we used to be.


Suddenly I’m standing in front of the world
Speaking of you
As if I was once again
A child
Running
Down your streets.

Sometimes, it feels as if my arms
are reaching out to the sky
as gravity pulls everything I am
all the way down, beyond the ground
into those little spaces
inside my head
where I scold myself
and say everything is dead
where I run my hands
against jagged edges
looking for reasons to bleed
but even then, like two ropes
tight around my wrists
or better yet, two hands
with an endless grip
hope, or the glass dish on the top shelf
whatever it is, it pulls and pulls
till I flood, and those little spaces
vanish, momentarily

Your heart rests in the palm of your father's sacrifice.
Your breath rests in the nostalgic wind that passes by him
When he remembers his past and reflects on your future.
Your colours run down the lines of your mother's smile,
Whenever she raises her hands to the sky,
Praying for you and a little more time,
Because she left her beating heart back home,
To become foreign and unknown only so you could grow.

Their complexions are painted with fatigue,
Because when you're sound asleep,
they run toward bordered walls,
so that when you wake up in the morning,
There will be open doors at your feet.

When a nostalgic wind passes by them,
They'll tell you stories of their childhood,
And they'll leave each word,
With a taste of reminiscence,
A hint of stolen years reflected in the teardrops,
That rest in the corner of their eyes,
And yet when they look towards you,
In seconds your reflection overshadows everything they once used to dream.

All for you...

To the distances I could not go for you
I will say a thing or two
Maybe you will find in the vast field of canola
The same sun kissed reasons
For leaving behind the love of all seasons
To tremble in the wake of one

To the white noise we befriended
You hand-in-hand with silence
Wear the stars like midnight bloom
The sun avoids our encounters
And we become the founders
Of bordered misunderstandings

Blooming flowers, spring's demise,
Winter creeps inside your eyes
I would have left everything behind
If it weren't for this unsettled mind
But these vast fields of distances grow
Through the skies and soil above and below

And I, drowning in dreams of tomorrow,
Have lost the map I was meant to follow

Tell those distances I have yet to know
That I'm still learning how to let go

I’ve been thinking about the night we would meet
And maybe it would go something like this:

the constellations would colour the sky with wonder
the stars would start falling like the rain from yesterday
the petrichor would seep deeper into my bones with each falling drop
The night would be endless and the moon would take me home
You would be waiting at end of a long day
Arms wide open and a smile on your face
You would bring a new story to read, a new world to face

So I’ll wait with the sun, until I slip away
Counting sheep and laying in my bed, I’ll finally understand what these wonderful nights could mean
This could be my last chance; to find a new  dream.

I lay in fields of green as my day is almost done
My skin is radiated by warmth
And distant rays one by one
Envelope me in heat
finally touching the sun

In disguise,
a hopeless wonder
Apprehensive and paranoid
I leap towards the open
my feet sticking to the field grass
My memories build worlds and voids,
steps and ladders shy away from my path Something tells me to climb upward
latch onto these fears I house within my shoes,
maybe take off the glasses I wear as an excuse,
to ignore your outstretched hand
But in disguise, a hopeless wonder
A small shallow breath
Accepting defeat against my stubbornness
This fear is nothing but distance I strive to keep
Because if I give you all of these words
and instead of grasping them tightly
they slip between your fingers
fallen, forgotten, meaningless.
then what?

This grief changes shapes
It runs and comes back to me in different forms
Sometimes it's angry, sometimes sad
But lately, it's a sweet melancholy
That drifts along with the wind
Carrying the scent of pear trees and spring
It has lost its pain to the December freeze And now, it's a reminder of circularity
And the transience of this little life

I've seen foreign stones bleed out fountains of wanderlust down your waterfalls
I've seen shards of mirrors swimming in the ripples of your sea
The one's that still hold the reflection belonging to the wandering passerby on your streets
I've watched as droplets of ink from a sunset sky pour onto your maps
Colouring in the roads that lead to your history
I've seen the flowers in your gardens spread their fragrance onto the sleeves of those lost in your alleys
And the soil underneath them surrounds the seeds of friendship that they leave behind
I've seen hope in the layers of your canyon rock
And resilience in the avalanches of snow that tumble down your mountains
I've seen the architecture of your emotions towering over my outstretched hand

And now I sit by the water trying to paint a picture of your roads on its surface
My hand reaches out into the distance, waiting for the light of your moon to embrace it
And I watch as the stars paint constellations that remind me of you
I dwell in the lonesome nostalgia, recollecting every fading memory
Hoping that when the sun glitters on the surface of your water
You'll see me sitting there, painting a picture of you

My heart, tethered to the ground
Beats in anticipation
It desires to listen to the melodies  
That colour the wind
When you decide to return home
Where you left the best parts of your dreams
And you pack them up
Ready to take them to the moon

I've somehow stretched every limb
into a series of exhausted yawns
Now the rhythm of this day
Is with you
But it seems,
I am not the only one
With words breezy enough
To make you laugh
Because as I round the corner
I can hear the air rippling around you
And everything becoming lighter and lighter
Until you, a sun in everyone's galaxy
Illuminates the disillusioned
delusional rhythm makers
All here to gift you their love

"...He said he'd be home tonight. Knowing his two little daughters were there waiting, maybe even praying with their small hands that he'd come home tonight. Even in the minds of the little girls they knew it was unlikely. He was going home that night, he must he told himself! To him home was the bay where he planted the tree as a child. He was going home to watch the leaves blow off the dying tree as if it's his reflection...."

Sometimes all it takes
Is to realize that you’re awake.
The change that you dream of,
Is in your hands and not miles away.

The grass may seem greener from where you stand,
But to the fellow across the pond,
You have it all right in your hands,
And you’re a fool in paradise,
Wishing for something you already have.

When the light seems far away
Don’t turn around, keep walking straight
You’ll notice that no matter how far you get,
Your first step is what takes you miles away,
To the place where it all will change,
And it will feel like yesterday,
That you were running and now you’re making waves.

There is always another side,
The light at the end of the tunnel,
You just have to open your eyes,
To see that you’ve already reached it.

Your heartbeat is caught in a thunderstorm,
You run with a broken umbrella away from winds
That chase you with the hopes to carry you home,
And every time lightening strikes, you realize,
the darkness is only a disguise


The light is closer than it seems

I float in the wind,
Bask in the glowing sun
And hope to meet the sky
But time becomes reality
And my dreams disappear
But before then you’ll save me
You’ll bring me to the clear
And the future, uncertain
Waits at the corner
With a letter from a lost one
And a message from my fears
Telling me to climb the mountains
The ones I walked around
To feel the air sharpen
As I get higher from the ground
And channel my past
Wait for you there
So you can turn back time
And I can reappear

Thank you, for everything.
Despite this rain that thunders in my heart
Your sheltering love will never be forgotten
I'll walk down these streets of motion blur
Thinking of you with every streak of light
And when this rain starts to pour on you too
I'll be waiting with my apologies
For this fragile heart is still learning to heal
It tends to scratch at anything new
It hides away when shown some love
And when your sun rays scare it away
It'll come back to hold the umbrella over your head
It might not be everything but it's all it can do
This broken heart will heal for you

Pave the uncertain roads for me, I’ll take your curiosity for a ride

And certainly I’ll fly through blurred out skies, a memory in my mind

As I drift off into a distant dream, I’ll keep the horizon close

Tell me when the sun starts to set, I must pack the stars and go

And bring a flashlight for when it’s dark, so that I can watch you glow

Oh dear old moon, take me home, Before it starts to snow

I’ll start my climb towards the tide, and listen to the mountains echo

They tell me dear, keep loving fear, it only brings us close

So take me on a journey, with the universe in my pockets

Take me by the hand, as we fall from the edge  

Towards an uncertain world

Under the sea of stars
I danced with my hopes and dreams
they haunted the night sky
As ghosts of what used to be
Blanketed by the innocence
Exposed to times greatest tricks
Lied the happiness of a hungry heart
Made from the starlit sea
That swam in an ocean
Sewed with loose seams
That let the smiles slip
Whenever you’re asleep
And under the sea of stars
Danced an untamed me
That hadn’t seen the light of day
But I was always lurking
Alongside my hopes and dreams
Swimming in the shadows
Of nighttime’s greatest greed
When man fell asleep to music
Made by the soul hunters
That took my dreams from me
Only to place them under the sea
Where stars of past hopes
Waited for my forgotten dreams
To once again dance alongside me

I've talked to all the ghosts in this room
They speak of memories and grievances
And we revel in how quickly this fog has turned into smoke
It bites at my lungs
And I sit and wait, my eyes on my hands
My ears on the clock
At some point, each passing second
Parallels my heartbeat
There is someone across from me
Saying it is time to let go
But what would be left of me
If this grief vanished, too
At some point, it became all I am

Until you
somehow stumbled into this room
untethering the past from all that I knew

The hands of time
intertwined with mine
we walk down this street
through puddles of years
in the rain
where minutes fall
onto our heads
soaking our laughter
until it dissolves
and flows down the drain
to the stormwater pond
where the past awaits

but we keep walking
ignoring the ache
to retreat our steps
to what is now a lake

and we journey until we've left behind an ocean

Threads of light from a waking sun,
Illuminate the dreams,
That rest on your eyelids.
And you carry them with you,

wherever you go.

You think about how time is running past you,
And you wonder if you could ever catch up to it,
But it stands there with a hand on your shoulder.

If only you knew, what you could do.

You wish for the good hours
When the sun wasn’t so eager to run away
But they’ll come again
When the daylight breaks through dawn

And you are granted another day

A cloud rests on the surface of the earth
and my heart, like a paperweight,  
tethers me to the stormy waters.  
I can’t foresee where I’m heading.  
But there’s something in the heavy air
compelling my lungs conform to the feeling
of letting go

I shy away from yellow Novembers,
As I stare into the glowing sun, 
searching for some metal wings, 
ones that bring back unfamiliar winds,
 hoping that they'll take me too. 

I trace my fingers along road maps,
and chase my regrets while looking back
I dream of sunsets on snowy roads 
I run from colours that feel too old 
and search for stories that haven't been told

I've read the writings on the wall, 
it seems like I've been waiting to fall, 
but every time I dream of a new place 
I can't help but feel like I need an escape 
So I find myself on the other side,

walking down roads that never divide, 
chasing dreams I have yet to meet 
becoming someone I have yet to be
searching for fate, I walk along 
towards the yellow November trees 

alone, afar, yet somewhere close, 
hand in hand with vulnerability.

I was waiting for the sun
With midnight I drifted off into the waves
The seamless sea wrapped me up
As I swam in between the cracks
That made your smile run

And when the only thing you can hear
Is the sound of my breath
You’ll know I’m alive enough to sink
Below the surface of your fears

And I would drown to save your soul
Even if you pushed me down
Because i’d wait for the sun in your eyes
To gaze into mine and a burn a hole

I was willing to fly away
But you made me swim instead
And now I’m caught up in a net
Where the light would never come again
Somewhere in your heart
Where there’s nothing but dark stars
I would be waiting for the sun
To light you up again

When your dream is being ripped from you,
When you feel reality push into your skin,
When your darkest secrets replay in your head,
It's been one more night through,
opening your eyes
To the sound of the waves in the beauty
Of invigorating sunshine
And to be welcomed by the sunrise
It's like a waking up to another dream.

You hold pain in your palms
Like water lilies it floats around
You guard it with your fingers
But as time tells tales of broken pasts
Nothing can stop the rain
From washing the lilies away

All these weighted apologies spill
from my hands onto the wintered ground
There are moments in the day
when all the quiet burns
and the smoke inhabits these walls
but the possession of this rain
is never enough to wash out these lungs
or dilute this volatile pain
I was never good at speaking
always shied away from crowds
you were never one to stay quiet
always ran toward the loud
A cycle of oscillating seasons
I'm too in love with hating the cold
and far too familiar with the sound of rain but these birds, they're always calling
to new mornings and a sky of gold
and you sit here, waiting to hear your name as I clean up all the spills
from these weighted apologies
and pails of winter rain

From the beginning till the end
I’ll watch through shattered windows
Admire your changing colours
And revel in your foreign fractured skies

I’ll watch as time takes your blues
Changes a day into a minutes worth
And steals the colours of the wind.
Watch as the night is born again.

I’ll remember your changing skies
As I fly towards your diamond stars
Forever you’ll be a distant sunrise
And a closer memory somewhere far

This language, everblooming
It has so easily poisoned us
But you dust off those empty phrases
Washing stains out of rageful exchanges
This white flag is half in your hand
And half in mine
A haphazard grocery list
Stopped at tomatoes
Continued as a list of those “we would never go there" words
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Written like punctuation in the spills
Now I'm picking up dinner plates off the walls
So many weapons were thrown and old secrets hashed
A mess left with us drowning in the aftermath
I think the salad is now dressed in curses and ill wishes
But despite all that
I think it's your silence that will **** me

Seconds go by in tender bliss
We smell roses and stain our hands with
crushed petals.
Declarations of life long rumination
live between the distance in our
exchanged affirmations.
Happiness opens its undisguised embrace
As the silence between our spoken words
fills the gaps of our stuttered promises.

It's the grey of the sky
That takes my breath away
It's the blue of the day
That's stolen by the rain

it's the thirsty lake that is replenished with every drop
The smile of the clouds that darken their gaze
Or the misty aura that wraps up your skin
It's the way you're lost in the haze

And once it has drizzled it starts to pour
The winds came up and brushed us with hail
But then the ice softens when it touches the ground
The world might be strong but it's already frail

its the people.
The people who hold their hands high as the drought drowns in their prayers
For finally we've been blessed with rain
It's the children who watch in awe as they're wrapped up in layers

It's the way the world watches as the sky cries
It's the way the way everyone's umbrellas are furled
No matter how busy anyone could be
We all can say what a wonderful world

Wonder is knowing that your questions will never be asked,
and that the thoughts that make you shiver are just your biggest dreams,

Plans are what we bring to our hearts when we are deceived,
By the maps laid out by our own two feet,

Hope is when the sand sinks into the sea, letting you walk free.
Love is the sound that lingers in sweet nothings, with whispers of enchanting declarations,

Fear is to be stripped of all your rocks and bricks you've laid out, to be senseless in absolute innocence,

Sadness is the forbidden things that crack our very soul, the things that play with your eyes in absolute silence,

Joy is the cherish made of the winter cold, to find the good in all icy things,

But what are you? What am I?

We are the the words that no one spoke as no voice could do us justice. We are the smiles that never crack on all the shy faces.
We are the smoke that rises in the air when candles are burnt out because no matter what you do we are still lingering about.

Chase the thousand morning suns you dream of
And watch them through big city windows that frame the colours of the wind

Read about the thunderous rain, close your eyes and feel it’s pain
Soak your hands in atmospheric water as you watch the rainbows shy away

Trace your steps back to the moon, and steal the stars that stole your gaze
Throw them in your pocket but put them back when all you see is the haze

Draw the flowers that grew last spring, and fold them in to paper airplanes
Set them free into the sky, and watch the buds grow when it rains

Close your eyes and smile along, forget I’m leaving...
Forget I’m gone
Chase the sunrise until sunset, and then do it all over again.

if by chance, with this spring
we go on to bloom
with new cuts
and citrus slathered over my hands
I bask in the beautiful scent
and tremble with the pain
just as you once said
It’s how things go
when life hands over  
the lemons and tangerines
we, barely prepared  
still coming into new shoes

But funny enough
here we are
I guess we never asked
the tulips and roses
how much it actually hurt
to burst through a bud
and bloom

A moment for the moon
half-dipped in midnight
A soft sigh escapes
embellished with stars
as it crawls back
into your atmosphere
holding in its center
a small whisper of
an outstretched hand

If we could hazard a guess, tomorrow is the day everything changes. That's the famous phrase. Something about the way the pink roses on the counter stand so tall and proud. When I was young I envisioned I would be like them someday. Deep into my womanhood, tully aware of the force I have to push with to keep my shoulders up. But I would do it, that's what I believed. These days it's enough to hold the weight of breathing, and enough to move limb after limb. To keep up with the minutes and still meet them up ahead with a gracious smile. On repeat, morning sun to evening moon. Some days my limbs they move me, others I move with them too. That's how it goes. Sometimes the roses are drooping, sometimes they bloom instead. All the time they are alive and present, standing, even as they shed.