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It's so easy
To forget, in the summer,
What your school is like

It's equally easy
To forget that my school has
Five thousand students

It's also easy
To neglect that the main hall
Is a quarter mile
The exact number of students was 4858 in 2013.
And I know *maybe* thirty of the kids in the school...
Sometimes I read other peoples poetry and I realize that it's those words I've been secretly harboring in my heart; and someone was finally able to explain them to me.
The sun still shines today.

Even while the clouds are grey.

Wait patiently through the wet days.

For, behind that sheet of rain, a bright light is still ablaze.
My body's stained with the proof,
of all of my regrets.
All those things I thought had mattered;
I later learned, I would forget.

My mind is now a mess.
Just fragments of a story.
One I can no longer read.
For the sentences have gone blurry.

I try my best to hold onto,
The life that I once knew.
Of coffee cups, of cigarette butts,
of and old Chevy truck named Blue.

Loved ones names come and go.
Their faces all look the same.
I don't understand why my legs won't work.
Why my body is in so much pain.

Like a flower blooming in the spring.
And like the trees dying in the fall.
Every body and mind have a season.
And mine is slowly coming to a stall.

Now, here I lay, on a rough white sheet.
Where I'm stuffed with tubes and hand fed.
No longer am I anything,
but a man in a hospital bed.
For my grandpa.
There you sat,
on a faded red chair.
Worn down by your presence,
by the years of your despair.
You've never tried to leave.
Instead, always thinking about the past.
You couldn't let go of your grief.
So you just sat there and let time pass.

I see the unbelievable,
as I look all around the room.
Hundreds of faded red chairs, visible,
and filled with others just like you
They all look the same.
Sad and wasting away.
Weighed down by their shame.
By memories they couldn't escape.

Just as their faces begin to look the same,
I spot an empty chair.
On it is a forgotten name,
of the person who's no longer there...
Somehow I found the strength to leave,
and learned that this life was a lonely war.
That name no longer belongs to me.
For I stood up from that faded red chair.
Sorry, I haven't posted in a while.
Hope you all find some meaning in this.
I hope you can all stand up too.
If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation

Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you
Help people. Dont leave them alone. Provide help. Depression is very real, and it is all around us. Repost if this means something to YOU
 Sep 2016 A Cup Of Sunbeams
Meg
numb
 Sep 2016 A Cup Of Sunbeams
Meg
i just want to cry,
scream,
throw something,
anything but this ****** numbness
 Sep 2016 A Cup Of Sunbeams
Meg
do not call me "cutie."
if you're lucky enough to call me anything,
call me beautiful.
extraordinary.
amazing.
call me spectacular.
i want to be a force of nature.
wild.
untamed.
i want to be remarkable.

i do not want to be "cute"
 Sep 2016 A Cup Of Sunbeams
Meg
You make me believe that I am made of stardust.
That starlight is trapped behind the glossy spheres of my eyes.
That there are a million galaxies in the curve of my fingertips.
That a myriad of collapsing stars smatters my cheekbones and the bridge of my nose like freckles.
That my mind is a complex web of constellations, of which you have memorized every star.
You make me believe that I am a cosmic masterpiece, of both dark matter and light.
You make me believe that I am a celestial mystery, the Last Frontier, hiding so much among Suns and black holes and eclipses, and you were the only one who dared to look up.
Thank you for making me believe in myself again :)
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