I let go of my breath right after
Hadn’t even realized I was holding it
It mattered like it mattered what you wore to the first day of school
At the same time
It was already done and just because it didn’t get excepted didn’t mean it wasn’t a success
I submitted it
Already put it out there
Everything else was hearsay

I’ve always known it was the water that connects us
Not just the waves, soothing, rolling
Not just the community built within,
Not just the rain falling quietly in the thick breeze of the Florida afternoon
But in all of it
Even the new water
Frozen and pristine and soft
the kind that surrounds us now.
You are always with me,
No matter where I go,
Seemingly intertwined with my existence
But I have always been afraid to write about my ocean
Because with the written word
I am compelled to search through all of it
The beautiful coral that lies just underneath the surface
And the hidden depth that’s a secret to most
For how can I express my love for you
If you are but an ocean partially explored
The fear is cold
Unspoken
understood
While great revelation might be a few written lines away
Scribbled down with a simultaneous effortlessness and unrefined stimulation
I am afraid that like a snow flake,
While I continue to explore you my love
You will but melt away in my palm

All at once
They rush ahead
simultaneously graceful and sinister as their piercing emerald movement bellowed below
A warmed sense of urgency and rage pulse through them
It is not safe,
Out here or up there

The smell of cheap coffee reminds me of you
Reminds me of your grit
Your rough hands
It reminds me of how delicate you are
How guarded and misunderstood you have become
The glass of the French press still catches the light similarly
I think of you when I see an old car, when I hear an engine rev
You’re everywhere and no where at the same time

Where do you go
In your mind hole
When you slip Into the oblivion
Thick like the frozen mist that surrounds our mockingly warm entity