i'm all burnt out now
even though harsh winter's done
my chest is still tight

believe it or not there was a time
when my spirits were so high;
i soared on the warm currents of life
like an albatross with no direction needed for home

for most of my life i had believed
that i was the only person i need;
that nobody could bring my spirit
crashing down on the cold rigid shoreline

but i was wrong

i met the most wonderful girl.
let's call her beautifully broken
a soul that had been re-shaped;
had been twisted, tormented, from the inside
but had now chosen to display the most beautiful, perpetual smile.

she told me faintly about her past;
how it had beat her down, but she fought back
with every fibre in her little body
just to be happy like she deserves

maybe it was the way she wrote love stories on her arms
tales of bittersweet endings, that will never disappear
they fade, but remain forever
as if to say "real love sees no end"

i've never dealt well with blood
since the time my leg erupted like a volcano
this is why i still haven't cleaned her spill from my bathroom floor
and i move in 6 days.

i didn't know what it was like, to be her.
to hurt so bad.
to feel a pain that only subdues when she tattoo'd herself
as a constant reminder of our struggles

she told me she's absolutely fine
her inner battle has ceased
her freshest mark, like a line through my name
was the last one, to say the least

the thing is i believe her.
she may be little, but with a mind so beautiful, so strong
there is no more room for agony in that tiny body

this is why i'll help take it away
i'll be the sponge that ***** in all of the negative, the sadness, and hate

i have never felt this way in my life
and i believe my time has come.
to feel the weight of the world bearing down on me
slowly bringing my soaring, gliding soul
down toward the shore

i will take the weight
of your saddened years gone by
i will let it crush my insides
until these wings no longer fly

i only want her to be free
to soar on these warm currents of life
but i must absorb more pain and sever all my ties

because it's so hard to fly
when you have a dead, rotting albatross
hanging around your neck.

i have visions of you sleeping well
in a dim-lit room, half-furnished house
these visions once told me you were alone, and cold
and this house... it wasn't a home

i had visions of you dreaming of me
longing for the few days, in which you return to me
sleeping on a mattress is never of ease
but not so bad when you have loving to look forward to

now here in my sleepless cavern those visions have changed
i still see you dreaming in sweet peace
but with another's arms wrapped around you
and this house is more furnished than i had thought

i no longer have visions of you coming home
with a smile on your face, and sweet treats in your hands
heart shaped budds and the sweetest finger hash
are no longer gifts, but regular occurrences

not since you told me, the way you think of me has changed
it's no longer good thoughts about our psychedelic whirlwind of a journey
but of the times we went awry

i'll never know what happened for those 3 days after we spent the night
i hope your phone died and wish that was the whole story
but these visions of you sleeping in a more-furnished house

make me think that house is now more of a home.

i never have liked uppercase i's
i know it's absolutely stupid
but they always make me feel more important than others
like i'm always saying I, I, I.

see even that was weird
way too many eyes
so i spend half my days, proofreading my lines
to make sure that i'm exactly the same size
as everyone else

when i first met you it absolutely blew me away
to find someone else who lowers their eyes
i'm serious, it's amazing to find someone who wastes as much time as yourself
hitting backspace, and
cursing auto-correct for not allowing this behavior

but after a while i noticed you stopped with the i's
maybe it was around the time **** got weird
maybe it was a fad; or i have some absurd superstition
but it's cool
You always were the bigger person, anyway.

at first we played games
like 'see who can love the other more'
now it's **** on me, i'll **** on you
and if i don't have anything worthwhile i'll drink until i can muster up just about anything devilish

never thought much to bite my tongue
but i'm somewhat starting to wish i had it removed with my tonsils last year
right before i met you
maybe it would have made more sense if i hadn't the ability to talk myself up
and make it seem like i'm a person who cares about anything

you see i've learned lately that i'm no good, when it really comes down to it
i can go through the motions and get by, but when it comes down to the most crucial moments, like when one must hold their tongue... i spit

In desperation
To fill this empty *****
I invented you

~~
Once you uttered
And do not be reversed
It remains either in the air or in the disc

Just as

Once the heart when I gave you
The freedom went to exile
Birds are caught in the cage

And the words within the words are lost
As like as your mystic form,
Vanished slowly on the horizon

Some songs roll over your mind
Some words are as deep marker
Still exist, after the departure of

Just as

Even after the train going away
You're standing at the station
But the mind does not want to return

What is the fault
Lost in the wind of memory
Seeking the truth beyond the existence

Was written in order to leave
Ah! What a difficult moment!

Life is the game of light and shadow
Stay away from the dark for some time
~~
@ Musfiq us shaleheen