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nim 2d
looking at you is not enough,
nor is pressing my lips against yours;

i need you under my skin,
your fragrant trace
in our messy, warm bed;
i need it to be you

i need you to leave no stone unturned
when you trace your fingers across my body
it is all familiar,
my body's a temple for your love
and it all collapses without your touch

everything made sense
and it all fell into place
the moment before we first kissed
with your eyes meeting mine,
shooting Cupid's arrows
and sending them right through my heart

when your electric touch stunned me,
when your mouth left me speechless
yet bursting with beautiful words
creating beautiful new worlds

[ like wisteria, alongside a gleaming lake
where children will play hide and seek
and reminisce about it, decades after
with a soft tone in their raspy, aged voices ]

let it not fall on deaf ears,
let our love not be silent
i need it to be you,
and i need you every day
i need you every sunset
and each time the sun wakes

i'd travel across the galaxy to find you,
and i'd crave you in each universe
even if i didn't know what was i
searching for
i would need you,
my heart would always flee to you
we'd meet in every timeline, each story,
and fall helplessly in love

let us be fools,
simple jesters, playing with everything
but our hearts
juggling and laughing
but sneaking glances, over our sleeves
where our hearts reside

i am completely yours
i'm giving right in
because i'm a fool when it comes to you
and there is no cure

except, pehaps,
you being by my side
forever and so on?

for you are the sun,
i am the moon
and we are the stars;
supernovas, when we explode
and vanish back to particles
return to dust, intertwined;
we will create and leave behind
something that will go on
and that will have your eyes

the world would be blessed
to have more of you
and if i can contribute
they'll have my eyes, too
nim 2d
i know when you're not yourself
your eye colour changes;
it's like looking into a stranger's eyes,
but into someone i know too well

i know when you're not yourself,
your tone shifts and raises;
you blabber twist all the words,
you commit a sin against yourself

it's an army i've watched,
and the general and the innocent
a sick wheel killing itself
a sick wheel turning on itself
and being hunted by itself
and the sick wheel turns,
time passes by, nothing changes
it's a tragedy written in our veins

the wheel turns on me,
but i don't turn on my kids
i turn on myself
i'm killing me
and all the generations past
are killing me
addiction and transgenerational trauma
  Mar 5 nim
Mary Huxley
If you return,
do not knock,
the door has memorized your hands.

If you leave,
do not turn back,
the wind carries only forward.
nim Jan 26
he doesn't love me
it's another crooked story,
another time my heart got chewed out
and spit out

he doesn't love me,
this tale feels as old as time
and i already know the way it ends
but i never learn

he doesn't love me,
all those words meant nothing
when they get trampled over harshly
no looking back
the dust never settles,
the stampedo always persists

he doesn't even need me,
was lust always stronger than love?
do you not feel lonely,
ripping hearts out?
was mine not worth even
a proper peek?

he doesn't want me
he prefers aged wine
yet wishes to drink from two glasses
i am not wine;
i was made to burn,
never go down the throat easily,
to scratch and make you puke,
never anyone's favourite drink
i was made to burn
and oh,
how i burn
i burn out,
i am set ablaze
a dancing dragon
on top of a grave
of my old self
burn
burn
burn,
leave no traces
of the past that once was
burn,
burn;
torch the emotions
set the insecurities aside
bury the love,
it was not meant for me
it was never for me

he doesn't even love me,
because romantic love
is just not something for me
in this lifetime;

but i keep trying,
old dog breaking itself
desperate to learn new tricks
and get a crumble of love
old dog,
they will not touch you
as to not get sick

old dogs never get enough love.
I wrote this months ago, and of course, I was right. I'm always right about these. Yet I dream and I hope, for I've found a new love.
  Jan 20 nim
owls at dawn
we all have old patterns
we play on repeat
in my spare time I
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nim Dec 2024
wicked dreams
drenched in sweat
leave a taste
that lingers when i awake

for when i am sleeping
your feelings are true
eight letters, that i chase
a feeling that can't stay

what a twisted dream,
and blurry day
i'm far less lucid than i'd say
through the fog, my arm reaches
for a truth that was never there

this dull knife in my chest
is digging deeper and deeper
the hole that he dug
is getting far more crowded
than my mind

in my restless dreams,
i turn and i turn
i pray to a deity
that would never return
i pray to a deity
and i hope you answer
or at least hear
the words whispered to the moonlight
the feelings i thought
are connected like two cups
and a single red string

what's one more ****** soul
on a pile of lies?
what's one more fake
"i love you",
one more untrue touch?

in my wicked dreams,
i pray and i turn
as the earth spins
as my world burns
as my heart yearns
and never learns

i pray for your soft touch
to convince me you're mine.
.
.
.
don't get on the pile,
you're the one i most desire.
don't be like everyone else,
don't make my head a lost case.

i pray and i pray
and send everyone else away
as long as you're mine,
and as long as i'm yours
we'll be alright
after these long,
sleepless nights
nim Dec 2024
you're a sneaky ghoul
that's eating my heart;
i never noticed
that love doesn't have to be hard
i want to give in, fully;
eat away,
it's yours anyway.
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