Today
I just listened
Today
She didn't hear about my insignificant problems
Today
I can't sleep after hearing these things she told me
Today
I want to scream
Today
I feel that the world has no hope
Today
I don't know if I can hug her
Today
I want to fix all her problems
Today
I want to tell her I understand more than she thinks
Today
I feel like crying, just from hearing her woes

Why are we the way we are?
Fighting eachother
When we're all the same

We should be one
No more blame
War
Unnecessary hate
Or fame
We are all humans
Just people
And we will all die one day

We need conflict
But our brains do that for us
Why do we need to do it for each other?

We should be together
Fighting the internal monsters
Not judging if they have four eyes or green scales

We should be together
In our anger
And our confusion

We should be together
In our complexities
And beautiful strangeness

We should be together
Even when we don't like everyone
Because that's normal
While staying kind

We should be together

Tomorrow
begins the end
Tomorrow
I sit alone again
Tomorrow
I pretend I care what I'm learning about
Tomorrow
I wake up early exhausted
Tomorrow
I spend hours doing busywork
Tomorrow
I have to keep myself together the whole day
Tomorrow
The struggle to keep my tears in continues
Tomorrow
I feel so lonely always
Tomorrow
Begins a whole week of this

Its a rough night tonight
My head feels like it's exploding
My asthma won't let me breathe
Along with my anxiety

My thumbs hurt like hell
I feel much less when well
Nausea cause by none other than my thoughts
Just wanting to go to sleep

Going to sleep tonight
Knowing tomorrow will be hell
Over and over again

Everyone needs to shut up
Too loud
Too loud
Too loud for my mind

I hear the lights buzzing
The talking
And the poisonous thoughts my head is feeding me on a sharp knife
I swear they could ****
Either way I don't feel stronger now

I'm too weak
Too weak
Too weak for this world
I don't know how much more I can handle
Before I implode

The air is too thick
Too thick
Too thick for my lungs
I can't breathe
Everything is too much

Suicide
Parents dying
Crying
Crying
Crying

We're too young for this

Scissors cutting into skin
Not eating or eating too much
Kids raising parents

We're too young for this

Panic attacks
Everlasting loneliness
I pull off skin
They pull out hair

We're too young for this

Body dysmorphia eating so many alive
Social media getting them addicted and ruining their limited time
Feeling empty inside

We're too young for this

Psych wards
Abuse
People killed from war
War is old but it continues to destroy homes

We're too young for this

Sleepless nights
Death is a joke now
And so is autism

We're too young for this

Drug prevention lessons every week
It started in 6th grade
They don't help though at all

We're too young for this

Barely even teens
What happened to us?

Each brush stroke
A part of my soul
Blending
Mixing
Bleeding into eachother

Colors combining
Overlapping
Kind of like my thoughts

They make something interesting
Maybe messy
But calming
At least to me

.

                                                               I    ­  
  I                                                          am      Tired
Am so tired all is wish to do is to sleep
Trying hard to sleep though deprived
To sleep is hard and I hate it so much
Sleep                                                 ,yes

I wish on 11:11
Not because I believe that will make it come true
But because it makes me wish

Poor young girl
I dared to cry
Little did I know
my dad would
“Try to make me feel better”

He would pull his shirt over his face
So I wouldn’t see his expressions
The things that make him human
But I would see his stomach
And I would see him chasing me around the house

“No!”
I would shout
I didn’t want the hug
I didn’t want the hug
I didn’t want the hug
He was scary

But I was little
And not so fast
So he would grab me

I was trapped
In my mind
In the house
And in his arms clutched against his bare, hairy chest

And maybe I never truly left there
Trying hard to believe that he was truly trying to help me
Trying to be okay
Trying to stop what he was doing from hurting me constantly
Trying
Trying
Trying

I have since recovered slightly
With meds, poetry, and therapy
but I still feel the squeeze of his hands sometimes
I still his chest hair against my neck
I still feel the fear of a switch
The fear that someone will get angry

I’m still a little trapped
And a little afraid to cry

What do you think it does to a child
When their father tells them
That they're the reason they want to commit

What do you think it does
When they try infront of you
Twice

"Because of you" he shouted
Cursed at me
Calling me a *****
Telling me I was the reason he stepped in to the street

What do you think it does?
Well they don't remain normal do they
They don't want to be put in that situation again
At the very least

It feels great to be unique
It feels beautiful to be special
But being one of a kind
Is so lonely

Can there please be at least one other person in this universe
That's like me?
Can we be two of a kind together?
Just one...
Please

I've had enough of this
I just need ONE other person

Tears
Headaches
Homework for hours
Trying so hard
Just to be heard

Trying to make friends
Trying to be social
So difficult when your not normal
The things you have to tell yourself
To keep yourself together
"It's okay
Your okay
Everything's okay"
All lies

Concerned looks from your mother
As you say that yes, today was the same
You can tell she's trying not to cry
Guilty

Procrastination
Lack of motivation
Working so hard for this presentation
And for everything else
Even when it all gets deleted in my head immediately after

The crowded hallways
You can barely squeeze your way through
They're so loud
And full of people
Most yelling
Some banging on lockers
Jammed
Like my head

Painted spirals on the wall
Not as real as mine

My father will never change
Though I need him to
People still feel like they are in a cage
But it's 2024
The world is going down hill
We should be getting better
We discriminating still
I thought we were over that already
Wars are a current problem
Though it's studied in history notebooks
So many people feel numb
Children and adults
We are destroying the earth
Though we claim to love it
Some people think that they don't have worth
But they are the most precious ones

These are just some unfortunate truths

I want someone to slap me
And chop off my head
I hope it's painful
And that it will continue to be painful for the few minutes before I am dead

Blood
Pours
Down
Onto
Skin

Pain
Pain
Pain

I am alive
I am screaming for help
It is silent
Like my cry

Why
Why
Why

I think it’s gotten to the point
Where only poetry can save me

And my entire body
Is overwhelmed
By pain
Depression

My heart
Brain
Wrists
All so ready to
Just
Give
Out

And as soon as the door closes
I collapse on the floor
Gasping for air
What is wrong with me?

Thoughtswhat'sarewrongpilingwithover,mystopheadnow

Why couldn't things be that way more often?

Disconnected families
With cellphones at dinner
So many girls starving themselves
Just to get thinner

I wonder how many people
Wish they were never born
I wonder how many people
Love the person that makes their heart torn

Why did the world make it so that
The people who are so kind
Have to get hurt from the fall from heaven?
Why must it make the people with cold hearts
Not be the ones to get frozen?

Everyone feels alone
Even though there are 8 billion of us
I feel right in between emotional
And emotionless

Maybe that’s just life
For there is no such thing as Utopia

Now though,
All we can do is exist
And then not
Be happy sometimes
But let ourselves also be distraught

It’s hard to listen to kind thoughts
When your ears are stuffed with sadness

When you fly high
The fall is hard

Why is everything pain

I am in my body
I am in my mind
How come I am not the one who decides?

I got an award today
Apparently of high honor
Speeches about me
Proud people, teachers from way back crying
But I cry in my car now
I still hate myself
Why?

What has my life become?

I know it won't take long
I know he might be okay this time
I know it's supposed to be nice
I know that's what they want me to do

But I know it might be painful for me too

"What's the worst that could happen?"
You have no idea, and trust me, you don't even want to

I know your just asking me
To spend a couple hours with my father
But I really don't want to

Apparently it's "my decision"
But I can't say no to you
I'm used to pleasing you
What can I do?

I just want someone to love me enough
That the scars seem just as beautiful as my eyes to them

In and out
Out and in
Trying to catch my breath
Stop my momentary calm from flying away
But they escape me

I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I tell myself
But I can't breathe
And tears are rolling down my cheeks
I don't feel that way at all

My head will explode soon
Or collapse in on itself
I don't know what to do
And this was all just caused by living
And doing the simple things it requires
Why can't I seem to do them?
I everyone else do it
It shouldn't be this hard

I can't breathe

Help
But don't look at me
Hear me
Or tell me lies
Actually
Just go away

Oh for ***** sake
I just want a hug

The words are bleeding out of me
I just feel so bad
All of these feelings bubbling up and boiling
I want to throw them in their faces
So they can burn
All the people who made the world so bad
I know it's a lot of them
But so be it
I don't care
My million feelings taking over
Why is the world so bad?

You say good day sunshine

I say bad day and now it's nighttime

I still have so much to get done
And I'm angry
At myself
My teachers
My "friends"
My "dad"
And the world

Take your dominant hand
And put it on your heart
Say to yourself
"You're not alone"
Because you aren't

Think about how many other people
From all around the world
Who did this while reading this very poem
How they came to it
How they came to this website
And wonder what's going on in their world

I know it's easier said than done,
But maybe instead of deporting children with brain cancer to Mexico to die
And depriving the depressed and suicidal meds
We just

Don't?

Instead of misgendering Trans people's passports
And denying people health care
We just

Love?

Could we possibly
Not encourage ******
And not cut down millions of trees in forests and parks
But just

Not ****?

I don't know,
Just a dream I guess

The things I do
For your approval
And your excitement
For my accomplishments
Usually aren't healthy
Or good
For me

The things I lose
For your happiness
And your calmness
Usually are the things that make me feel that way

The things I cover up
For your agreement
And support
Usually are the things I care about most

Don't tell me
I'm being disrespectful
When it's simply impossible for you to stay pleased for more than a few moments
I try
And I try
To no avail
I am done trying

I have opinions
Thoughts
Feelings
If you don't like it
Don't see me
That's what I wanted
To begin with

When I feel depressed
And want to do nothing
Feeling so stressed about everything
I get up
Get dressed
Pack my bag
And walk
Walk for hours and hours
In the sun or in rain
Until I feel better
And in the end
And I always do

I do not
Fit into any of the groups

I am a color not found on the puzzle
Or maybe visible by the human eye

But I am constantly on the watch
For other wanderers

Blow the on the dandelion
I pick from the ground
Watch my wish fly away
Going everywhere
Landing all around

It's the same wish I've always had

I wish while I blow out birthday candles
On 11:11

So many wishes wasted
On an impossible thing
On an impossible person

I wish my wishes wouldn't be wasted
On you

I could watch the fire forever
It wraps itself around the wood
And they sing together
A beautiful, crackling song
Just hearing it
Makes you calm

Fire is something people yell in their last minutes
And something that eliminates all feelings wrong

It is hypnotizing
But in a way that you still feel in control
It makes you warm
Inside and out
It's sad that it's also a result of drought

Nevertheless,
I could watch it dance
Forever

I look out the window
Of my room
I see the dark night sky
Houses with people making memories inside
Tress
poles of light

I wonder
How many other people
Are like me
Looking outside
Just watching time go by
Maybe they're thinking
And wondering
The same thing
As I

On my nighttime walks
I always see planes flying by
Soaring up ever so high in the sky

I think about the
Many, many people
up there in that plane
going somewhere
for some reason

And how
whenever I leave a place on a plane
I wave goodbye

maybe I wave goodbye to the country
or state
but I think
I'm waving goodbye to the theoretical stranger
who's waving bye back at me

So when I see the plane
soaring up in the sky

I lift my hand as high as I can
and wave
jumping up and down

I wonder if they're wondering
if someone is waving back

anyhow,
I know that they don't know
it's me

I am the only one who knows
But I guess not anymore
because now you do too

So,
If you're ever flying over NJ
Just know
That there's a chance I'm waving at you

There are 8,191,420,825 people as of now
And we are all thinking
We are all breathing
And we are all feeling
As long as we are alive

Some are happy right now
Just got married
Just made a friend

And some at their saddest
For their parents just died
Or they found out their partner lied

Some think about life and death
And some about what they're eating for breakfast

But all of us are thinking
Its insane

The happiest poem
But underneath it
A one full of despair

The happiest person
But next to it
One losing hope

We are so different
Yet the same
We all have names
Names and beliefs
Beliefs and truths
Truths and weaknesses
Weaknesses and strengths

It's crazy to think about it
Honestly

People
We are all the same
You know
In some way
And we are also different

We are all alive
Though some don't feel that way
We all have fears
Different in many ways
We feel emotions
Some happy, some melancholy
We all cry sometimes
For different reasons, of course
We all want to be happy
Though some don't get to be, and think the result would be accomplished differently
We all want to be loved
But some don't get to be

And despite those difference
We should remember
We are all connected
Somehow
some way
So maybe
Let's not hate one another

We humans
We love to compare and contrast
But
We often forget
We don't all have the same denominator

I am in a hot air balloon with my whole class
We are eating sandwiches
A ****** is on top of it
Pop!
The ****** bit it
The balloon crashes
No one is hurt except for my best friend
She is dead

We start running from the ******
My friend trips and falls
She is dead

We arrived to a school bus
A nice classmate drives
It crashes
She dies

I now realize
People are dying on the order of who I like most to least
I keep escaping the ******

Killed by a lion
Falls down the stairs
Faints
Etc
Until they are all dead

I am the only one left
The ****** was mad at me
Said it took too long to get me
I die last

I wake up to my alarm screaming at me
I sigh in relief
And wow
That was a weird dream

Dear Friend,
I hope this website will save you
Just as it has saved me

The souls, so kind
The words are ever beautiful
And the poetry, so incredibly feeling

I hope you will find the strength
To keep on writing
And maybe share some
With this wonderful, wonderful community

I think as a society we should talk about death more
Because I'd rather be comforted by it
Instead of letting it have so much power

"Life is eventual death"
I wrote on the inside of my locker
It was a nice reminder for me
Relaxing
But people don't think about it that much
How it takes the pressure off
How comforting the idea is
They don't understand why
And so they look at me
And see broken
Sharp edges
But it's because we haven't talked about how wonderful the idea is that we can see the other side even if there's something in the way
I just want it to be okay that I'm broken glass
And that death will welcome us all one day