Today
I am going back home
After a month
Of being on road
I really don't want to go
At home I feel so alone
Waiting for me is my nearly empty house
The hundreds of people I see daily that I don't care for
Don't talk to
Make me feel as small as a mouse
Waiting for me is my toddler of father
And the endless hours of work
All of the peace in my mind
Lit up by a torch
Waiting for me are the sleepless nights
Oh how ill miss performing and the people I met
The kindness that often cannot be found in my town in America
I don't want to go home

There are few things in the world
That when you look at
You think
How could I ever have cried?
My favorite
Is when your sitting in your room
Writing
Painting
reading
Or stressing
And you look out the window
And you see the sunset
And everything suddenly
Feels alright

The pick and orange
Working together
Swirling together with all the other shades
The peace that comes when you look at it
Ever so beautiful
And ever so needed
Just
One of those few things in the world
Oh how I love it so

Dear, The thinkers, Dreamers, Poets, Artists, Passionate people, and Questioners

Thank you
Without you, the world would be nothing

From,
A strange stranger

In my head
I have this mantra
For anytime I feel uncomfortable
Or sad
Or just plain bad

I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home

The saddest part
Is that I say it in my own house

Why do we do everything we do?

Why do we smile at strangers?
Why do we tell our friends we care?
Why do we try not to stare?
Why do we like to make people happy?
Why do we love when we something we say that leaves people laughing?
Why do we when playing board games let the little kids win?

But then again

Why do we pick at our skin?
Why do we do everything we can just to look thin?
Why do we cry every night?
Why do we fight?
Why do we want to see the light?

Why do we do everything we do?

Why do we smile at strangers?
Why do we tell our friends we care?
Why do we try not to stare?
Why do we like to make people happy?
Why do we love when we something we say that leaves people laughing?

Why do we let little kids win?

But then again

Why do we pick at our skin?
Why do we do everything we can just to look thin?
Why do we cry every night?
Why do we fight?
Why do we want to see the light?

People
We are all the same
You know
In some way
And we are also different

We are all alive
Though some don't feel that way
We all have fears
Different in many ways
We feel emotions
Some happy, some melancholy
We all cry sometimes
For different reasons, of course
We all want to be happy
Though some don't get to be, and think the result would be accomplished differently
We all want to be loved
But some don't get to be

And despite those difference
We should remember
We are all connected
Somehow
some way
So maybe
Let's not hate one another

Step one:
Roll up your sleeves so they won't get wet because of you

Step two:
Wash your hands

Fathers
Bizzare creatures they are
For most
They cause pain and suffering
And for the lucky some
They hold your hand in hard times
Sing to you lullabies
Make your mother happy,
Not the reason she cries
They help you with your homework
And they work hard
They can control their anger
Raise their kid
Be responsible
Be kind
Care
Try
Respect that you are adolescents
And most of all
BE YOUR PARENT

Fathers
Bizzare creatures they are
I know that some are good
Which I admit
Gives me jealousy

If only the characters I read about in books
Were actually alive



Oh how much more
Would I love this world

When I go to the airport
I always wear a funny shirt
Because waiting in line is so dull
And I want to make someone smile
Maybe get a laugh
Maybe make a friend
Maybe make a day

All humans do
Is to result in happiness
We do everything in our power
“Once I get __ I will finally be happy”
We think
Then after a while
we get it
And we may be happy for a bit
Then it's over
And we want something else
“If only I had it!”
And it starts all over again

Life is like candy
You first must open the wrapper
Then get the sweets inside
And when it's all over
All the different layers and phases
You die
Most people get stuck on step 1
And unfortunately then skip to 3
But to get number two
You have to be more than lucky

I wish on 11:11
Not because I believe that will make it come true
But because it makes me wish

Whenever I remember
I look up at the sky
And remind myself that the stars are there
Even in daylight
So there's no need to cry

Some people
Are choking back tears
Always

Do I write too much?
All of these words
Accumulating so fast
Just waiting to be let out
They're getting clasutrapjobic
What can I say?
I wish I would stop
I ask them if I may
They say no
Not in a harsh tone
But just one saying that they need to be let go
"Okay" I tell them
It feels good after all
But do I write too much?
The question still stands tall

Write
Just write
You might make a masterpiece

Smile
Just smile
You don't know what it could do

Walk
Just walk
You don't know what you'll see

Be
Just be
You might just learn to be happy

Not every smile will change a life
Not a every walk will be inspiring
Not every poem will touch a heart
And being is a complicated thing to be

And though these things are simple
I know they may be challenging
But all of them together
Have the potential to make the world
Just a little bit more loving

You arrive at the second-hand store
You try some things on
You have no idea who has worn them before
It could have been a devil
It could have been a saint
But it doesn't matter
You take it anyway

You wear it for some time
Maybe years maybe days
It could be too small now
Or maybe stained
Maybe you throw it out
Or return to its place
At the second-hand store
Where the next person
has no idea who has worn it before
But it doesn't matter
They buy it anyway

Language was created
So we could better understand eachother

And 5,500 years later
thats what we're still trying to do

Everything that goes up
Goes down

Everything that begins
Ends

Everything that lives
Dies

So what's the point of anything?
Or
So what's the point of everything!!?
At the very least
That's your choice

Dear, Someone

I hope you heart will heal
Your soul freed
The life life you want
No longer out of reach
Your ideas set free
And your mind at ease

If these have already happened to you
Which I don't know
How did you do it?
Oh how I would like to know

I hope you respond
In some way or another
In the meantime though
Good morning, afternoon, or night
And I wish you the best
For the rest of your life

From,
A stranger

I figured it out
People just want to be hot peppers

Peppers are spicy which pushes people away
But their flavor is enough for people to stay
People still love them
cook with them
Eat them
They even learn to love their spice
Just existing is enough to suffice

People just want to be hot peppers
Their “flaws” are loved
People love them for it sometimes
Their wonderful flavors appreciated

People just want to be hot peppers
There are some who can't handle them
Which is normal if you're alive
But despite those haters
They still thrive

I am in a hot air balloon with my whole class
We are eating sandwiches
A ****** is on top of it
Pop!
The ****** bit it
The balloon crashes
No one is hurt except for my best friend
She is dead

We start running from the ******
My friend trips and falls
She is dead

We arrived to a school bus
A nice classmate drives
It crashes
She dies

I now realize
People are dying on the order of who I like most to least
I keep escaping the ******

Killed by a lion
Falls down the stairs
Faints
Etc
Until they are all dead

I am the only one left
The ****** was mad at me
Said it took too long to get me
I die last

I wake up to my alarm screaming at me
I sigh in relief
And wow
That was a weird dream

Is of world out order the
Children raising Parents
Schools making kids like learning less

Is of world out order the
Instead of trying to protect ourselves we hurt ourselves
Instead of protecting each other we **** each other

Is of world out order the
We're going back in time with rights
Safe spaces are scary

Is of world out order the
Kids are making the parent’s money
People starve themselves on purpose

Let's around switch it

I feel as though I am being watched
I know I'm not
No one can see through my eyes
No one can see through my head

You might think this scary
But it's not
I want to be watched
I want someone to know
That way
They can believe me
That way they can understand me

And I can stay silent

Focus harder!
If I could I-
Try harder!
If I could I-
Start talking to people more!
If I could I-
Stop crying!
If I could I-
Stop doing that!
If I could I-
Be more productive!
If I could I-
Stop picking your skin
I really wish I could but-

That moment when the plane is departing
It is zooming out on everything
The huge houses now the size of your thumb
If your close enough you might be able to see the cars
Cars full of people
Family
Friends
Enemies
All going somewhere
All human beings
Every car has at least one person
Every person has its problems
Every person is thinking
Every person has their own life
Their own soul
Beliefs
Qualities
Passions
Fears
And I am zooming out on all of them
I get to see them all so small

I don't really know how luck works
But I go and pick a car
And I wish them health
I wish them love
I wish them peace
And I wish them luck
On the rest of this journey
And when I'm done
Well
I pick another one
Until I can't see anymore
And then I close my eyes
And think about the terrible flight food I’m eating for lunch

I want kids to stop needing to raise their parents
People say that would take magic
So people have to step up
Because even 5 year old me knew magic isn't real

I wake up in the morning
I go downstairs
I wonder
Why is no one there?
I check every room
Call out my mother's name
Only to find out it was in vain
I put on my shoes and run outside
The streets are empty
There is no one to find
At first I go back home
And I start to cry
I can't even find my dog
She's my comfort in hard times

Soon
I realize
I can do anything now
Still a melancholy day
I cry and cry
But for the first time ever
I also drive
I eat all the sweets I want
And I realize I can fly

I drive
Fly
Eat
And with the the guilt of doing that
I cry

Then I wake up in the morning to my mom telling me to hurry up
I sigh in relief
What a weird dream that was

You’ve probably heard the saying “life is short”
I don't think so
It is the longest thing you will ever
experience
It just passes quickly
If you're lucky enough
Life is
Sad
Happy
And long
I just hope mine is all of those

You’ve probably heard the saying “life is short”
I don't think so
It is the longest thing you will ever experience
If you're lucky enough
Life is
Sad
Happy
And long
I just hope mine is all of those

They're your friends
Until you need them
They want to make a meense
But not admit they are wrong
They'll help you
Until you need help
They claim they're all equal
But they discriminate
They say that they’re fine
But they are far from it
They can love you
But still hurt you
They can earn your trust
Just to steal from you
They can say that they discipline you
When they are harming you
They can say that they love themselves
When the love pours down their arms
They can look confident
But cry at their reflection
They can be your friend
And lie to you
They can claim they want peace
But start to **** one another
They can try to help each other
But hurt each other in the end

They are terrible
beautiful
confusing
complex
Loving
and hating

They are people

Smile-
form one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

But it is so much more. Imagine this:

You're waiting in line for lunch at school
you've had a really bad day
Your friends aren't talking to you
You failed a major test
your dad just left

The thoughts in your brain are taking over
You search the room for something to make it better
On the left is someone talking
On the right is someone talking
You look behind you, someone talking
But when you look at this person they do something different
They look at you kindly
And they smile

A smile is pointless if only polite
But this smile was beautiful, mouth open wide
How could she knows that you needed it so much?
Such a small action made your heart touched
But she didn't know
She just did it because she could
So you smile back
Somehow brighter than hers?
And suddenly your sadness has been cured

So you go to your table at lunch after getting the food
Feeling lighter and more than cured
You are happy, somehow
It doesn't last long
But now you can remember the kindness of one

The rest of your classes go by easier
After school you go out with a friend instead of eating food from the freezer
You get an okay night sleep
And this time you don't weep

More days go by, still feeling lighter
You don't even remember the smile
But now you have these habits from the days before
And you like your life more

It's crazy what one smile can do it's so easy but impactful if it's true

I come at unexpected moments
I bring fear and anxiety
I whisper morbid thoughts about your family and society

My favorite times are 3 am and always
My favorite topics are death and pain
I like to make sure that you scream silently in vain

I take you out of reality
Launch you in to space
I planet for the people you may ****
And a star for the ones you won't save

Short and quick
I can ruin your day in the snap of my finger
The what if’s taking over your brain and I promise they will linger

I also serve a purpose which I admit a often fail
To protect from the things that can put you in jail
I know it makes you crazy and so I'm sorry to say
That 's the only thing I know and I'll do it until the end of always.

Pick
Pick
Pick
Pick
My thumb is bleeding
Pick
Pick
Pick
Theres still a bump
Pick
Pick
Pick
It hurts
Pick
Pick
Pick
I need a band-aid
Pick
Pick
Pick
I don't have one
Pick
Pick
Pick
I have another thumb
Pick
Pick
Pick
Oh, it's also bleeding
Pick
Pick
Pick
I need to go to sleep
Pick
Pick
Pick
I lay down
Pick
Pick
Pick
It's still not smooth
Pick
Pick
Cry

I can't sleep
Could it just be that I needed to weep?
I've tried that
It should have worked

I can't sleep
Could it be that I needed to eat?
Ill throw up if I do that
That won't work

I can't sleep
Could it just be that my body hates me?
It won't let me sleep
What can I do to let my mind make it work?

I can't sleep
Could it just be that too much is worrying me?
I can't let myself think that
Others have it worse

I can't sleep
Could it be that I need to run?
I miss the moments of day where I can, but don't
I know there's no way that could work now

I can't sleep
The day will take me
Swallow me whole
Please let it be kind

I can't sleep
I can't even ryme
Let the day give me peace of mind
Please let it work so I won't appear to be blind

Your parent is waking you up
“Five more minutes!” You plead
And now all you want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep
The warmth of the blanket
The peace that comes with the dark
The calmness of your heart
In bed that very last night, none of this you saw
You saw monsters under your bed
Monsters living in your head
The blanket was too warm
Your pillow covers in tears
Only in the morning do you think this would please
In your head all would be solved
Five minutes and all problems
–****, gone!

I am shivering
I am not cold

I am in the bathroom
I don't need it

I can't breathe
It isn't my asthma

I am exhausted
I can not sleep

I am lonely
But I won't text anyone

I am crying
I don't know why

I fear I will die
Nothing real is killing me

My stomach is grumbling
I won't eat

Right now
Life kind of *****

You know when you spill water and get upset only to hear someone say, “it's just water!”
It doesn't matter, water, pineapple juice, or milk I'm still soaked and need to change
The fact that what I spilled happened to be water doesnt make me less clumsy
It doesn't make my fingers less sweaty
It doesn't make it okay
“It's just water” they say
I’d be just as clumsy holding milk in my hand
What would you say if I spilt milk?
But if I spilt water, it's okay
If shes my daughter, it's okay


This isn't about spilt milk

Some people let themselves see the world black and white and I understand why
Good, or bad person is easy to say
But a scientific fact is that there are 65,534 shades of gray
Take a moment to think of that if you may

So when I go in the that therapy office and one of the first things I hear is
“You know your dad isn't a **** person, Ay?”
What I want to say is he is one of those shades of gray
Only what I do is a polite smile and nod, waving it away

Some things can't even be measured
No matter the time and effort
So is he even a shade of gray?
To wrack your brain out, in addition to the tiresome day

Some people let themselves see the world black and white, and I understand why
Saves so much energy and confusion
And maybe they were partially right
For the ones who can save themselves, this might be the best way

I hate the sunset tonight
it shines for the children
for the heroes in all of their might
for the kitten who stares out the window
and for the young lady who cries every night

I hate the sunset tonight because it shines that very same bright for the angry man who does terrible things out of spite
the same bright for ruiners of people's lives
for the person who makes that young lady cry
for the people who believe that some don't deserve rights

I hate it because not everyone deserves to see that light yet it shines just as bright