I never had to ask you To be a good friend I never had to worry About you saying bad things I never had to hesitate Before telling you everything I needed you to get me And you did And you will Midnight or not And I felt so at peace Knowing I was safe while I slept Hearing your voice Gentle and caring At the lake with the breeze Outside with my cat The one you kept for me Thankful For you
I’ve realized I don’t like being touched anymore Not a gentle hand on my back Not a hand in mine Hugs are tense I don’t like them anymore I used to think I needed contact But I hate it now Don’t touch me I don’t want an arm brushing mine Fingers on my knee I don’t want my hair played with I don’t like it anymore I used to crave the closeness Now I just want to be left alone Don’t touch me anymore
Adjusting to a new kind of normal One where everything is tense Trust is long gone And I don’t know who I am anymore I don’t have the mental capacity For things that used to be easy Like helping people Like eating Like sleeping This new normal is different But it was necessary
I ran From my problems They came back But I didn’t In a way I’m still trapped In that night Cowered in a corner Arms over my head “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry” But you wouldn’t listen Couldn’t I ran But my problems followed They came back I came back