You shan’t seek
Love in lust,
Just as you can’t draw
Nectar from a rose’s trust.

For desire is not love,

And all love is not desired.

forbidden doesn’t mean unloved.
it just means we had to get clever,
had to learn the quiet art
of slipping past the noise,
finding each other
in the cracks between rules.

we speak in hush tones
through fake personas,
a call tucked
into the folds of night,
your laugh breaking softly
against my ear like tide.

they told us “no,”
so we invented yes
in the language only we know.
stolen minutes,
a heartbeat shared
over a signal no one can trace.

the world doesn’t see
what it means when you say my name
like it’s a promise.
but i do.

and maybe we’re breaking the rules,
but we are not breaking each other.
we are not wrong.
we are not alone.
forbidden doesn’t mean unloved,
it just means
we love anyway.

“have there been any safety concerns
since last week?”
“no,” i lie,
hoping she doesn’t
see the truth
sitting heavy in my eyes.

“have there been urges?”
“yes,” i say,
truthfully,
but like i’m afraid she’ll flinch.

“why don’t you act on them?”
“because i’m not allowed to anymore.”
it was the truth,
just wrapped in a lie.

she smiles.
“that’s adorable.”

summer with you
will be
forbidden meetings
and “tell me about your day.”
laughing in whispers,
loving in glances,
missing each other
endlessly and unforgivingly.

it will be
the ache of wanting more
and the sweetness of having enough.
murmurs of nothing across screens,
and talking in code,
listening to songs that only we understand.

it will be
the quiet promise
that we’ll stick together
in every way we know how.
new, different,
a little secret,
but still,
undeniably us.

green means go
but i hesitate.
because every green light
turns yellow eventually,
and i’ve learned to fear
what’s coming.

it’s not really about driving.
it’s just,
every time life feels good,
i’m already scared
of losing it.

you’re in the sky,
and i’m still here,
counting clouds
and minutes
until you land safely,
until you message me back,
and feel, again,
like the world makes sense.

i’m only seventeen,
i don’t know anything.

but i know i miss you.