When people enter my room now
I corner myself to the edge of the bed
And get ready to cover my ears
Like a scared dog
And scared dogs
Aren’t scared of everything because they’re wimpy
They’re scared because they had to be

Even when people get disappointed
The child cries because he didn’t get to pet it
The owner looks at it with pity
But the dog feels it mist continue

though not violent
It will bark
And though not in danger
It will whimper

Not because it’s wuss
But because they can’t truly trust everyone
After their first owner
After those horrors
No one it’s at the back of its cage
Scared

Why does having food in my stomach
Feel like I failed

I just changed my HP description thing
From female to gender questioning
I don’t know why the hell that’s so scary
But yesterday
I really did not feel like a girl

“A perfect quiet child”
They called me
Don’t call me mature when I was just scared and unhappy

I was not an adult
Why did you treat me like one
And now you dare to wonder
What happened to my head
Why I’m always in bed
It wasn’t just my father
It was everyone else too

Stop saying I’m an old soul
I’m smart
I’m just ******* terrified
I’m miserable
Trust me
You don’t be envious of that
Or at least if you knew why I’m like this way
You wouldn’t be

What has my life become?

I'm mourning the person
I never became
The one who was normal
Who didn't carry all the blame

My younger self would dream
Of many friends and happiness
But all I am now
Is a lump of unsteadiness

I'm mourning the idea
Of the person I would have liked to be
The one that could have been me
The one
That isn't

I never became someone
My younger self wished to be
Saw the things she wanted to see
Instead I feel all this pain constantly

Is that what she survived for?
She did not survive for me to be miserable
She survived for more
She survived for someone
I never became

You only love me when I let you pull apart my peices