I wake up crying
Dying inside
Tell my parents that i'm ok
But i'm really not
And I hate it when they push further
Because they know that I am lying
But I need them to push me to keep me alive
And I hate the pain of the knife against my skin
But I love the punishment for my sins
I don't think that I can do this anymore
*It hurts too much to try

they say that it gets worse before it gets better-
-and now i'm scared
because if that was bad
what could worse mean for me

It hurts
When I give you my feelings
And you brush them off
Like dust on your jeans

No one knows what it really means to die.
What does it mean to be truly dead?
Does it mean that your heart stops beating?
Or is it when you are forgotten?
Or is it when the person inside of you is broken?
And you never cry again?
It's a shame
That everybody will forget my name
Move along with their lives
God, I'm so childish
To think I ever meant something to anybody

I don't feel pain anymore.
Not since that night-
That fateful night-
Where a boy became a man

I am no longer myself
I don't know who I am
Not since that night-
That horrible night-
Where my mind was broken

I haven't felt love
She lied, but I died
Not since that night-
That rainy night-
Where I finally broke

i was 14 days clean
before it happened again
i knew that i shouldnt
but i did it anyways

the pain has never fully left me
i dont believe it ever will
but this time
it might have been too deep

now i walk with a slight limp
cause it hurts to walk
and people
are starting to stare

ive got so many problems
so where do i start
ill just bathe in a pool of sorrow

ill do it tomorrow