i was drawn up on a piece of
paper and tossed in the breeze

surrounding lives resound
voiceless breaths of
the windpipe of a lover

i have never met.

why else would people
stare straight through
me, gloomy glances
from my paper pupils
into angels eye sockets,

and they think that i'm human
and they think that i'm like them
and they think beautiful
thoughts on rainy days
while i'm stuck.

eyes manifest imagination into
each person's planet

but not me, what i see
reflects back and all i
can do is be what i believe
i see.

in
san
i
ty

is

ta
king

its

toll

on

me

and

i

don't know how much longer it's gonna be before
i gotta gasp for breath.

people worry when i rant,

but they don't get it
people fall in love with
people

how could anyone love me
if i don't see a person

when i look in the mirror.

shadow-whispers sing to me
and cloak me in black
cloth and when they took the
cloth off.

i hate linear equations and
computations and
numbers
because
people love numbers.

linear thought blitzes
right through me
because
I
am
a
contradiction.

chaotic enough
to be a hurricane
stuck in the body of
a person.

i can feel it when you wake up
and when you (gaspheavy)
walk.

i can feel each morning whisper
like a lonely star
on the arm of
a galaxy
that ends in your eyes.

i can push
myself
onto your
stomach
and live there forever

and you can struggle against me
(but i will always win)

i can absorb you.
and you like it.

i can cry
with the pitpatter
tear drops
of a million raging
cloudy (skystreaks)
because i am everywhere

but you-

you-

are everything.

a beautiful mirror for me to
stare into infinitely

because your eyes are tiny reflections
of what they see

and your body is the earth

and i
am the
bubbles
in your
blood
that
keep you (alive)

and i am the nothing
in your starry fingertips,
or the nothing
you look through
to stare at the sky

and i(nothing)am

are everything.

and you(nothing)are

nothing without me.

i wasn't tired until you
fell into my arms

and i wasn't tired until
i threw a thousand
weightless snowdrops
to the ground

and i didn't hurt until
the first word
and now
my home is a loud
roar of reverberations
that pass through me

(like a million spoken knives)

and i didn't understand
pain. Until your somebody
stumbled into me

and i couldn't let go
(because they were made of ash)

and i felt the weight
of so many somebodies
(suddenly)

and i began
to think

that - my existence
(the sea
the sky
and the nothing between)
manifested to
pulverize
the
planet
with
each
further
strained
breath
until
it
can
feel
each
pinprick
loss
of
life
it
enforces.

And maybe my rage
forged bellowing
stormclouds over deserts
or made rivers flow backwards
from storm surge (tear driven)
but the somebody i'm not

and the somebodies i carry

will never
be more threatening
than a fadeaway
wind that cries with the lone
wolf.

follow me
my little
deathling
(my tiny
frozen
flame)
let me show you

let me make your frozen fingertips-
tendrils of falling
frost
that kiss the ground

in a mixture of sky and earth that is
both of us (somehow)

sit yourself on the
pinprick spindril
mountains

and let me throw myself
at you with all my might

and maybe you
fall from your
tallplaces

until you realize that unless you hit the ground

falling
is
flying

let yourself fly into me

let yourself become the monster
that you always saw in the mirror

scream at me your deathly dialogue.

scare me.

let all the darkness out
of your ashen mouth
like a bird running
out of air to fly on.

expose me to your suffering
make me your worldly attachment
(i dare you)

battle me.

exhaust yourself until
you realize that i am your
arms

and i can fight myself forever.

fight for your dusty body

hope that you can return to it

realize,

that you cannot.

see yourself as a congregation of
mud
and wind
and water.

become the flame that set you free.

and set fire (the world) that killed you.

Hold yourself
Make something
Out of this
Human being

Give authorization
To you
And not them

Show this mirror
That life
Is temporary
Thoughts
Emotions
Are too

You don't have
To feel the pressure
Or conform
To their to dos

You are enlightened
Firm and true
You are a million
Stars birthing
Kalidescopes turning
You are you